i wanna be like you

On Saturday I had the opportunity to spend a little extra time with the 1st-6th graders of Windsor--we visited the Madison Zoo! It was so much fun to take a little time to relax & get away from my normal routine while getting to know the future of Windsor Baptist Church.

Abby & I drove to Madison from the school. After a slight delay (we got a little lost in Madison) we met the church group by the seals.I loved watching the monkeys swing from tree to tree, then press their faces to the glass because they knew they were being watched. I loved watching the polar bears, one swam laps almost the entire time we were there; they are such beautiful creatures. I loved the African animals: the rhinos, giraffes, & lions; the American prairie: bison, prairie dogs, &, of course, a badger (we were in Madison, WI, home of the UW Badgers). Abby & I felt like the kids from the church that we came to meet. Those kids, & their parents, were so excited to be at the zoo! Some of the kids, along with Abby, had never been to the zoo before. Their excitement was easily spread to their parents & workers. Shane & I & some of the kids bought animal masks to wear. I am so glad to be a human, but I felt like saying "I wanna be like you!" to some of the animals.

At church on Sunday & in AWANA on Wednesday, the kids were still excited to share about their time at the zoo. The AWANA lesson for Cubbies last night was Creation. It was hard to quiet them down after asking what their favorite animal was: they loved them all! One of the girls kept saying, "Me want to be a monkey. Me want to be a bird!" The feeling was mutual. In Disney's The Jungle Book, Louie wishes to be like man, but sometimes I think that we humans "wanna be like you."

under construction

"CAUTION: Life Under Construction"

Things are constantly under construction. Houses are being built, new stores set up in the mall, road construction that never seems to end (which can be rather frustrating during rush hour), the list goes on & on. It seems that wherever I turn, work is being done & things are being improved.

Change, though sometimes difficult to handle, is usually good. New houses replace burnt out shells or other unfit homes, new stores bring new styles & offer the public more variety, & new roads, as frustrating as the traffic may be, allow traffic to more smoothly from one place to another (until the road is under construction again, of course).

The difficulty with change, is that change is a continuous cycle. Things can never be fixed to perfection in this world. We will always have a need for new homes, stores, & roads (sorry, but somewhere out there, there will always be a construction related traffic jam). Though this cycle is generally viewed as a negative, it should be seen as a possitive: job opportunities, fun new fashions, & something to save up for.

I have mentioned several times that the Lord has changed me in several ways this summer: it's true! I learned so much about myself & my awesome God through the circumstances & people that He placed me in this summer. This summer, I realized that a life too, can be under construction & that this construction is a continuous cycle. I am continuing to learn areas where I fail, where I can improve, & how to fully rely on the God who was gracious enough to save me. Psalm 119:73 says, "Thy hands have made me & fashioned me: give me understanding, that I may learn Thy commandments." The less I focus on me, the more I realize that I have much more to change in order to become more like Christ. When you see me, be warned, I am a life under construction.

wasted

I love the opening week of each semester at college. I love catching up with friends from around the country. I love diving back into a semi-challenging academic schedule. I love once again having the opportunity to minister at Windsor, but most of all, I love the revival services that challenge me to have a soft, open heart for Christ.

This semester's speaker was evangelist Joe Mark. Dr. Mark is truly blessed with the gift of preaching. I could not wait to listen & soak up everything he had to say: God is using him in a powerful way. Each of his messages challenged me, but one sticks with me more than the others.

On Monday evening, Dr. Mark spoke from Isaiah 44:13-17 Giving God the Garbage. He pointed out that all too often Christians only give God their leftovers--their garbage. Instead of giving the Lord what He deserves, our personal best, we selfishly keep the best of our time, money, & strength to ourselves. After a long day of serving ourselves, we realize that we have forgotten God & rush to scrape together the remainder of our time, money, & strength for Him.

By this point, you are probably wondering why this blog is entitled "wasted". Dr. Mark emphasized throughout his message that a Christian who gives God only garbage is living a wasted life. I can still hear his illustration of a saved man who lived his life for himself. On his death bed he could only scream, "WASTED!" I do not want to live a wasted life! How selfish & disheartening to give the Saviour of my soul the left-overs.

Dr. Mark did not end his sermon with the dispair of a wasted life. To avoid a wasted life a Christian must simply dedicate his time & testamony to the Christ who saved him. Dedication is not an easy task: it takes determination & communication. Determination to give God the best of what He has given & constant communication with Christ through devotions & prayer.

The opening week to my sophomore year was filled with things that I love. I love all of the teachers & classes that I am enrolled in this semester. I loved eating, hanging out, & bowling with friends. But most of all, I loved being challenged spiritually. My life will not be wasted.

the wardrobe

In C. S. Lewis' epic tales, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe, Lucy Pevensie falls into a magical world just by opening a door to an old, dusty wardrobe. Yesterday, after talking with friends, I began to think about all the doors that the Lord has opened for me.

Friendships are a special gift. I cannot imagine my life without the friends that surround me, both at college & at home. Each friendship began with God opening a door where the slightest sliver of light shone through. Like Lucy I had to choose, despite the unseen costs & rewards, to engage myself in friendly conversation & open my heart to my friends. That step can be so hard! I am so thankful for the doors of friendship that the Lord directed me toward. Because of my friends I truly believe that I have been changed for good.

There are other doors: doors that lead to opportunities in ministry, academics, & career. These doors bring with them more apprehension than the doors of friendship . . . at least for me. I love meeting new people & having fun. I have been embarrassed enough in my life that I no longer care what people think about me as long as I am being myself & a good representation of Christ. That I snort & honk when I laugh does not bother me as it used to, but when Christ cracks open a door that leads to an opportunity in ministry, academics, or career, I get a little scared. I don't want to mess up something so important in my life. I am scared of the outcome, not so much in ministry, but in academics & career opportunities. It is these major areas, where I must completely trust Christ for the outcome, that I struggle the most to let go.

It is often hard to step out on faith & follow Christ; it is harder when the outcome of this step of faith cannot be seen. So many of the choices I have been challenged to make force me to trust Christ in the outcome. I love & get quite excited about change, yet it still scares me. What if I do the wrong thing? What if I make a mistake that is irreversable? This summer the Lord has taught me that I when I rely on Him there is "no cause for worry or for fear".

The Lord has so many doors cracked open: doors that lead to some great opportunities. I am excited & scared to open them & step inside leaning on Christ. Pray with me, that I would choose the best door & enter a wonderful world where I continue to grow to be more like Christ.

please remember me

I am back in the state of cheeseheads & looking forward to what the Lord has planned for my future, but I can't help but beg my friends & family back in Kansas City to please remember me. I know this semester will be full of great memories, but I wouldn't be where I am without remembering you who touched my life this past summer.

My summer job this was a special treat. I was spoiled to have such an amazing manager, Erin, & wonderful, fun, & weird co-workers who quickly became friends. I already miss my "Village people": I am so glad you all came into my life. I cannot help but smile when college friends ask me what I did this summer. There are too many fun memories to share . . . "Oh my soul!" Melissa, I miss you lots & wish you the best in your life. Chris, oh my soul, there are a buttload of things I could say, but I know they all would irritate the tar out of you! :) Allen, Jody, & all the rest, I keep fond memories of you in my heart. I do hope to return to the Village next season, but I am open to the Lord's leading at this point. I miss you all!

Loving family, thanks so much for making this summer special. I didn't get to spend very much time with you all, but the time we spent together was special. My memories of you all range from baseball games & a float trip to cook-outs & family games--I sincerely miss you all. God has done wonderful things in my life this summer & I am excited to see how He will continue to stretch me this fall.

Please remember me as I tackle another semester of college. I don't believe my course load will be hard, but I must remain focused & use my time appropriately. Along with classes, I am working in the yearbook office & in the campus dining commons. Pray that the Lord will give me strength & that I will be a wise steward of the time God has given me.

Please, remember me, friends & family. I will pray for each of you when you come to my mind. I can't wait to hear from you all. Keep me informed! I ask you to please remember me as I will remember great times with all of you!

just around the riverbend

This past weekend I joined my Sunday School class on their annual float trip down the Niangua River just south of the Ozarks. It was a great time to relax & enjoy the closing of the summer before heading just around the next riverbend of my life: my sophomore year of college.

The weekend started with a 3 hour bus trip. What fun just to fellowship & sleep! We arrived at the camp around 9 pm. Who set up their tents first? The Lawson/Ralph clan, of course! The seven of us (Jarid, Crystal, Paul, Tim, Alyssa, Lindsay, & I) set up our tents in about 15 minutes . . . then laughed as we watched some of the other singles struggle with tents & poles. After enjoying some delicious s'mores, we headed off to bed. Wake-up call came a little earlier than most of the singles expected, courtesy of the Lawson/Ralph tents: 6:30 am--Rise & Shine! By 10 am the other disgruntled singles (& Bishop's) were filled with a delicious breakfast, packed, & ready to ride another 30 minutes to Camp Cherry Mountain for an 8 hour float down the Niangua River.

Crystal & I were canoe partners during the trip. It was a somewhat relaxing, fun trip down the river. We avoided purposeful capsization by volunteering to transport the family cooler, which held lunch & water, down the river. I have talked all summer about how much I love spending time on the water, but nothing compares to a relaxing float down a winding Missouri river. The scenery was beautiful. As I looked around I found myself surrounded by hills of beautiful trees.

I am so glad that I was able to spend my last weekend before college with my college-aged siblings & cousins. I cannot wait to be surrounded by friends, but family members are friends that last forever. As the summer closes, I can't wait to see what awaits just around the riverbend.

two weeks notice

This is my two weeks notice.

I can't believe how fast this summer has passed. There are so many things that I have done: worked 40 hours a week outside of a theme park, taken & passed American Masterpieces, actually gone INTO the park & ridden roller-coasters, gone to an outdoor production of Othello, attended (& enthusiastically supported) 5 Royals games at the "K", gone tubing with my Sunday School class, read a great book on punctuation, & just relaxed with family & friends.

This summer has been a tremendous amount of fun: from work to free-time activities. But the time to turn my brain off (if I ever have) has come to a close & I am announcing my two weeks notice. I have to admit, though, that I am looking forward to getting back to school. I am excited to continue studying toward my degree in English Education, to work on campus, & take time to just hang out & relax with friend whom I haven't seen in 3 months.

I will miss all of you who I am leaving behind in Kansas City, but I can't wait to see all my 'Natha friends again. See you all in two weeks!