please remember me

I am back in the state of cheeseheads & looking forward to what the Lord has planned for my future, but I can't help but beg my friends & family back in Kansas City to please remember me. I know this semester will be full of great memories, but I wouldn't be where I am without remembering you who touched my life this past summer.

My summer job this was a special treat. I was spoiled to have such an amazing manager, Erin, & wonderful, fun, & weird co-workers who quickly became friends. I already miss my "Village people": I am so glad you all came into my life. I cannot help but smile when college friends ask me what I did this summer. There are too many fun memories to share . . . "Oh my soul!" Melissa, I miss you lots & wish you the best in your life. Chris, oh my soul, there are a buttload of things I could say, but I know they all would irritate the tar out of you! :) Allen, Jody, & all the rest, I keep fond memories of you in my heart. I do hope to return to the Village next season, but I am open to the Lord's leading at this point. I miss you all!

Loving family, thanks so much for making this summer special. I didn't get to spend very much time with you all, but the time we spent together was special. My memories of you all range from baseball games & a float trip to cook-outs & family games--I sincerely miss you all. God has done wonderful things in my life this summer & I am excited to see how He will continue to stretch me this fall.

Please remember me as I tackle another semester of college. I don't believe my course load will be hard, but I must remain focused & use my time appropriately. Along with classes, I am working in the yearbook office & in the campus dining commons. Pray that the Lord will give me strength & that I will be a wise steward of the time God has given me.

Please, remember me, friends & family. I will pray for each of you when you come to my mind. I can't wait to hear from you all. Keep me informed! I ask you to please remember me as I will remember great times with all of you!

just around the riverbend

This past weekend I joined my Sunday School class on their annual float trip down the Niangua River just south of the Ozarks. It was a great time to relax & enjoy the closing of the summer before heading just around the next riverbend of my life: my sophomore year of college.

The weekend started with a 3 hour bus trip. What fun just to fellowship & sleep! We arrived at the camp around 9 pm. Who set up their tents first? The Lawson/Ralph clan, of course! The seven of us (Jarid, Crystal, Paul, Tim, Alyssa, Lindsay, & I) set up our tents in about 15 minutes . . . then laughed as we watched some of the other singles struggle with tents & poles. After enjoying some delicious s'mores, we headed off to bed. Wake-up call came a little earlier than most of the singles expected, courtesy of the Lawson/Ralph tents: 6:30 am--Rise & Shine! By 10 am the other disgruntled singles (& Bishop's) were filled with a delicious breakfast, packed, & ready to ride another 30 minutes to Camp Cherry Mountain for an 8 hour float down the Niangua River.

Crystal & I were canoe partners during the trip. It was a somewhat relaxing, fun trip down the river. We avoided purposeful capsization by volunteering to transport the family cooler, which held lunch & water, down the river. I have talked all summer about how much I love spending time on the water, but nothing compares to a relaxing float down a winding Missouri river. The scenery was beautiful. As I looked around I found myself surrounded by hills of beautiful trees.

I am so glad that I was able to spend my last weekend before college with my college-aged siblings & cousins. I cannot wait to be surrounded by friends, but family members are friends that last forever. As the summer closes, I can't wait to see what awaits just around the riverbend.

two weeks notice

This is my two weeks notice.

I can't believe how fast this summer has passed. There are so many things that I have done: worked 40 hours a week outside of a theme park, taken & passed American Masterpieces, actually gone INTO the park & ridden roller-coasters, gone to an outdoor production of Othello, attended (& enthusiastically supported) 5 Royals games at the "K", gone tubing with my Sunday School class, read a great book on punctuation, & just relaxed with family & friends.

This summer has been a tremendous amount of fun: from work to free-time activities. But the time to turn my brain off (if I ever have) has come to a close & I am announcing my two weeks notice. I have to admit, though, that I am looking forward to getting back to school. I am excited to continue studying toward my degree in English Education, to work on campus, & take time to just hang out & relax with friend whom I haven't seen in 3 months.

I will miss all of you who I am leaving behind in Kansas City, but I can't wait to see all my 'Natha friends again. See you all in two weeks!

abba, father

For the first time this summer, I have time to read a book for fun & not for a class. There are several books that I would like to read this summer, but I decided to reread a favorite instead. I am reading, for the fifth time in three years, Leslie Ludy's Authentic Beauty. Leslie challenges her reader (me, in this case) to live a pure, set apart life for the Lord. Throughout the book she refers to Christ as every girls' perfect Prince. I love the analogy, & agree with her, but I love seeing God as my Father--the King of all.

Leslie's analogy is great--she encourages young ladies to have a vibrant relationship with Christ, their true Prince, before they seek for the young man of their dreams. This summer, I have fallen so in love with my Prince. In Song of Solomon, Christ is depicted as the "lover of my soul," the Prince in Authentic Beauty. Each time I read Ludy's book, I learn so much about myself & realize how much more I can show my love for my Prince.

About a month ago I analyzed the lyrics to Me & God. One of the lines says, "He's my Father, He's my friend." I love that. A father's love is expected to be unconditional, & I know that the love of my heavenly Father is so. Last night we sang Abba, Father. The song is a prayer from a Christian child to his heavenly Father. All of the lines are so true--I want God to have control of my life, but I know I will get scared along the way & need to lean on Him for comfort. That's what dads are for. God promises to take care of His children. Before the message of last night, Jason Webber sang Amazing Grace, Amazing Love. The song beautifully tells of the amazing grace & love that God, my Father, has for me. What a promise!

This summer I have learned so much about the character of my God as I read through the Psalms, attend church services, & read good books. My two favorite characteristics? God is my Prince, the lover of my soul & God is my Father & shows me unconditional love. How can I ever repay Him?

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Abba, Father

by Ron Hamilton

- - - - - - - - - - -

Father, hold me safe in Your arms;

Father, keep me free from all harm.

I cast my care on You

Just like a child should do--

Trusting, loving all that You are.

- - - - - - - - - -

Chorus

Abba, Father,

I rest in You;

You're always faithful,

You're always true.

Abba, Father,

You are my song

Though clouds are dark,

Though night is long.

I cry to you,

Abba, Father

- - - - - - - - - -

Father, help me lean on You more

Through each valley, through every storm.

Help me when I can't see

Your will is best for me;

Love me, hold me sheltered & warm.

- - - - - - - - - -

Father, mold me, make me like new.

Guide my footsteps, keep my heart true--

So that the world may see

Your likeness lives in me.

Break me, shape me, make me like You.

here am i, Lord

A couple of friends recently posed me some questions that caused me to think about what I want to do with my future. At a youth conference about a year after accepting the Lord as my savior, I gave complete control of my life to Him. No, I have not always been consistant in following where the Lord has led me. There have been times when I didn't understand the direction God was taking me & was apprehensive about following his plan. The questions my friends asked combined with the service tonight at my church made me want to shout, "Here am I, Lord!"

Missionary Matt Stensaas, serving in Uganda, spoke about why he believes Americans are apprehensive to follow God's call. His focus was missions, but I could see his point applied to simply following the path of the Lord every day of your life. His three causes were that Americans are:

• Afraid to leave comforts--Isaiah 51:12 "I, even I, am He that comforteth you:"
  Brother Stensaas pointed out that Christ left EVERYTHING so that you & I could become part of His family, yet we, as Americans, are apprehensive to serve Christ on the mission field because He may ask us to give up the "comforts" of America. The same fear applies to those who are called to minister, whether part time or full time, here in the states. I had to ask myself this question: "Am I willing to give up a comfortable life to follow the Lord wherever He leads?" Tough question to answer.
• Afraid of the cost--Isaiah 51:16 ". . . & have covered thee in the shadow of Mine hand. . ."
  The most obvious & feared cost of a life devoted to serving the Lord is one giving their life. Brother Stensaas mentioned the irony that most Americans would willingly die for their country but resist the call to live & die for Christ. As I think about where the Lord is leading me right now, sometimes I am apprehensive. Sometimes there are a lot of "what if's" that cross my mind. I have to admit that sometimes I am afraid of the cost of living a devoted life to Christ.
• Afraid to trust God--Isaiah 51:13 "And forgettest the LORD thy Maker . . . ?"
  Guilty! Brother Stensaas had us consider a question that many Americans ask: "Can God be trusted?" In my notes, I wrote "DUH! He has never failed!" He also pointed out that the one thing that man refuses to give God control of usually ends up destroying him. As I consider my future, I am constantly having to remind myself that I can trust God (Jer. 29:11 & Rom. 8:28).

The questions my friends asked me previously in the week were running thru my head as I listened to Brother Stensaas. They both asked the same question . . . what do I see myself doing when I finish college. The simple answer: whatever the Lord tells me to. A more detailed answer would include getting married, teaching high school English & drama, & ministering in the local church.

This summer, the Lord has taught me so much about Himself, but mostly that He has, as a mentor would say, a SUPER DUPER plan for my life. I'm excited to see where He leads & hope that I am truly living a life that says, "Here am I, Lord."

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Here Am I, Lord
by Ron Hamilton

Lord, I give my life to you;
Take control each day.
I will follow anywhere,
Near or far away.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Chorus
Here am I, Lord, send me.
Here am I, Lord, send me.
I will serve you faithfully--
Here am I, Lord, send me.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Lord, I want your perfect will;
Be my faithful Guide.
I will never be afraid:
You are close beside.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Let me see my mission field
All around each day.
Fill my heart with Jesus' love;
Use me, Lord, I pray.

angel of music

Christine could not escape the angel of music in Phantom of the Opera & here, in my real life fairytale, neither can I. No matter where I go I seem surrounded by music--it plays at work, we play it in the car, I turn it on when I get home, & even when there is no music playing I can hear it in my head. Sounds a little crazy, huh? My love for music started at a young age, but didn't really blossom until I learned to play the flute. After going to college I thought I lost my angel of music with all the excitement of a new life, but this summer, I found her again, & I refuse to let her fly away.

Music has been a passion of mine since I was little. My dad used to work on new housing developments by screwing the plywood panels to the floor to prevent squeaky floors. My brothers, sister, & I were always wanting to go & help him. Going with dad meant drinks from QT, a night away from homework, & hearing country music echo through the skeleton of a new house. If I were the unfortunate child to be left at home, I would get to help mom around the house while music poured out of the stereo. The music we listened to talked about life & the Lord. The sacred music of the Herbsters, WILDS, & various school & college groups reminded me that God is in everything; I should be praising the Lord in my everyday life. We also listened to secular music--mostly country. The songs spoke about life, real life, & I loved that. It was then that the angel of music became real to me. I no longer wanted to just listen to music; I wanted to be the one making the music.

As I grew, so did the music. I still enjoyed the Herbsters & country music, but I also learned to enjoy classical music, & let's not forget the magic of Christmas music. In fifth grade I began taking flute lessons. Our house growing up was so small & when I had to practice, piece & quiet were no where to be found in the 900 square foot house. After struggling thru scales, triplets, & arpeggios, I was able to play music. Mrs. Collier was called to another ministry after two years of lessons with her. I felt lost. I didn't want to give up what I had struggled for two years to learn. That's when the Lord sent me Elaine. Elaine became my angel of music for the next 7 years. I am so glad the Lord brought her into my life. I really began to appreciate the talent that God had given me. I had to work hard to progress & amidst all the hard work I realized that I had fallen in love with my flute. I no longer had to listen to the radio or a CD, I could play.

The Lord opened a huge door to me with music. I loved preparing for the fine arts competition at my school, but I found the most enjoyment in participating in youth orchestra & playing specials for my church.

College dropped me into a new & exciting world. I was ready for whatever the Lord brought my way, however, I was unable to play my flute because of expenses. At first, it didn't bother me--I still practiced when I could, but it wasn't the same. First semester I played a little with a church orchestra, but I yearned to do more. I felt like I had lost my angel of music. It really hit home when a friend asked how long I had played the flute after he overheard me practicing. I was shocked; it hit me that very few of my friends knew that I took private lessons for 8-9 years & even fewer knew how well I played. At that moment, I felt like I had lost my angel of music. How had I gone a whole semester without practicing 4 hours a week?

Among the whirlwind of changes that second semester brought me was the opportunity to revive my angel & fly on the wings of music. I found a new extension church that I will have a hard time leaving when I finish my degree. The ministry of music that Windsor opened to me is well worth the hour and a half drive from campus. At Windsor, I am able to accompany congregational singing with my flute & sing in the choir. I have also been asked to play specials & was even able to sing with a group for a special (something I had never dreamed of doing). Back home, my music ministry opportunities are limited. With a church full of talented musicians, it's hard to find a place to be heard. I love my church home, but as September inches closer I anticipate my return to Windsor & the ministry God has called me to there. After sitting discontentedly through a few music concerts last year I have resolved to audition for orchestra this year. I don't want to be just another member of the audience. I want to be one fifty combining together to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. I want to be someone else's angel of music.

I still love singing along to the Herbsters & country love songs. I can hardly stand doing anything (except maybe homework) without music floating thru the air. But it's the music I make with the talent God has given me that brings me the most pleasure. My angel of music, like Christine's, lives in my heart.

God bless the usa

One of our local news stations took a poll on the most requested patriotic song on July 4th. There were great songs on the list: America the Beautiful, God Bless America, Stars & Stripes Forever, & others. It set my mind in motion; what is my favorite patriotic song? No, I don't know which song the citizens of Kansas City picked, but I do know what my favorite is: God Bless the USA.

I did not have the greatest attitude as I headed to work Friday. Yes, I had to work. I knew that I would be missing out on our family's traditional cookout & family games outside, but duty called. I had nothing to worry about. My family joined me at work to watch the fireworks show there. Mom brought me some of the food from the cookout. The 4th: a time for family, food, & fireworks. I didn't miss out on anything. God bless the USA!

Tonight I met a couple of friends in the theme park after work. I was finally able to enjoy some of the rollercoasters that I drive under almost daily. It was awesome to feel the knot in my stomach rise to my throat, to hear the lap-bar of each ride click into place, look out over the beauty of the park just before taking the pluge, & then screaming my head off with my hands held high. The highlight of the evening was going to a free concert by former American Idol singer, Phil Stacey. It was awesome, the guy really has talent. There were so many good songs I want to share, but the one that silenced the crowd was God Bless the USA. The crowd of about 250 went mute as the former seaman sang about his country.

Take a minute & just think about the song, the lyrics are listed below. Phil Stacey changed just two words from the lyrics of the original song, but I think he changed it for the better. Instead of saying "lucky stars" he sang "Lord above"--I think it fits the song much better, don't you? Before long you will realize that we are blessed & we need to continue to pray that God will bless the USA.

_______________________________________________

God Bless the USA

by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone,

I'd worked for all my life

And I had to start again,

With just my children & my wife.

I'd thank my lucky stars,

To be livin' here today

'Cause the flag still stands for freedom

And they can't take that away.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Chorus

And I'm proud to be an American

Where at least I know I'm free.

And I won't forget the men who died,

Who gave that right to me

And I gladly stand up,

next to you & defend her still today.

'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land

God bless the USA.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

From the lakes of Minnesota

To the hills of Tennessee,

Across the plains of Texas

From sea to shining sea

From Detroit down to Houston

And New York to L.A.

Well, there's pride in every American heart,

And it's time we stand & say...