Broken Guitar Strings

Yesterday morning I intended to serenade my junior high girls' Sunday School class with my miserable excuse of chording talent. I've practiced two or three songs all summer until I felt fairly confident I could accompany the girls' singing. Nothing to terrifying: Amazing Grace, I'll Say Yes, Lord, Yes, and I Want to Do Thy Will--you know, songs we've sung as a class for months.

So I arrived to church early, slipped out of orchestra as soon as I could, & snuck into the classroom to tune my guitar. Yes, I slunk through the church building--I'm not that confident in my music abilities. If I was going to make a fool of my self, it was only going to be in front of the 8-10 girls in my class.

I sat in a chair in the corner of the classroom hunched over my guitar. The only light in the room was the glow my smartphone cast on my face as I used my G string tuning app. Pitiful, I know, but sometimes I can be extremely vain.

For twenty minutes I struggled to tune my guitar. Twenty minutes. It's okay, you can laugh. And, yes, I've tuned a guitar before--it has never taken me above 2 minutes. I felt like an idiot.

My D string made painful twangs as I stretched it to its limit. Each time I turned my tuning knob I whispered, "Lord, please don't let this break." It didn't. My G string did. My heart stopped for a full three seconds as I stared blankly at the third string laying limp against my guitar. I was so frustrated I did something I rarely do: I cried.

My mother graciously helped me sneak my guitar out to the car [yes, I am that vain; yes, my mom is that awesome; & yes, it is hard to "sneak" a guitar anywhere] & rebuked my ridiculous attitude. I was frustrated &I was not trying to hide it.

What did she say?

"Obviously this wasn't the Lord's plan for you today. Ask Him what His plan is."

OUCH. Talk about a major slap in the face.

Twenty minutes later, I sat in the same room, with the lights on, encircled by seven junior high ladies. What did we talk about? God's will for our lives. What illustration did I use? Broken guitar strings.

God allowed my guitar string to break so I could learn what His will was for me that day.

But the lesson doesn't stop there. God was still working on me.

Midway through his morning message, God's Plan for Lasting Change, Pastor Kevin walked over the the piano & droned one key repeatedly. His illustration? Tuning a piano. As I sat there in my family's regular pew three quarters of the way back on the left side of the auditorium, a wave regret & insight struck me: broken guitar strings.

There are areas in my life that need to change & I've been trying to fine-tune them on my own. I've stretched myself to my limit. Before I know it a loud twang stops my heart & I sit dumb-founded at my own foolishness.

Goodness knows when I try to change on my own I will only end up with broken guitar strings.I need the Lord to tune the chords of my heart so I can appropriately praise His name.

3 Questions

Personal devotions have always been a struggle for me. Each time I pull out my Bible, my mind races with excuses: I lack focus. I fail. I don't know what to study. I'm tired. I become enslaved by the daunting task that seems impossible to me. And it is. How can I, a sinful, depraved being, possible hope for a vibrant, intimate relationship with God? On my own, I can't.

Simple Requirements

At 5:15 this morning my alarm clicked on & my ipod glowed in its stand as music filled the air. I love waking up to music--so much more motivating than the annoying, incessant blaring buzz of a typical alarm. Insead of being ripped from my slumber in anger & annoyance, I am calmly awakened by a whisper of one of my favorite songs.

Trying Perfect Patience

This week I had the wonderful opportunity to guest-post on a friend's blog. Noah's blog, The Student Center, has challenged me to grow in Christ & lead with excellence. Take a few minutes to read my article Trying Perfect Patience (a study of James 3:6-8) & then poke around Noah's page & be encouraged.

College Lessons

God has been stretching me in a variety of ways over the past year. No matter where I am, He continues to teach me about who He is, who I am in Him, & who He wants me to be. As I prepare to graduate from college & close another chapter in my life, God reminded me of some of the great lessons He has taught me over the past five years.

Change is scary, but good.
Believe it or not, I am naturally shy & moving from Missouri to Wisconsin was terrifying. But, before I knew it, terror turned to ease, ease to comfort, & comfort to love. I wouldn't trade my four years on campus for anything. Over the years I have faced a few exciting & scary changes, but I can proudly attest that [by God's grace] each change has been good.

I am never done learning, growing, & stretching.
I am definitely not the same person who stepped on campus in September 2007. God has used those scary changes to teach me that He is still molding me into the person He wants me to be. I have learned to accept myself, to reach out to others, & to push myself outside of my comfort zone. Sure, growing hurts at times, but the rewards are priceless.

Life is ministry . . .
. . . and ministry is global. While God has not specifically called me to minister overseas, He has made it clear that a life sacrificed to Him is a life of ministry. I have found no greater joy than the joy of serving Christ through campus leadership, extension ministries, friendships, & now, teaching. Wherever I am & whatever I do my life is to be a ministry of Christ. Maybe one day I will get to minister outside of the United States, but for now, I'm delighted to be serving Christ in my Jerusalem.

Dreams can be reality.
Did you know that God wants to fulfill the greatest desires of your heart? While I definitely still have dreams that I eagerly anticipate becoming reality, God has fulfilled so many of my dreams that I have no right to complain. I am an English teacher--that's a dream I've had since 2nd grade. How cool is my God?!

Relationships are vital.
Over the past 5 years God has brought people into [& taken them out of] my life that have been vital to my growth in Him. Not every relationship will grow with the same intensity or fullness, but know that God has a purpose for each person, each conflict, each relationship, that He sends our way.

Laugh at yourself.
I love to laugh, but sometimes I seriously struggle with laughing at myself [especially when I'm laughing]. College taught me to embrace my quirks [including my obnoxious, loud, goose-like laugh] because true friends will love me better for them.

Don't sweat the small stuff.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? Infected with the cancer of worry, I often make a mountain out of a mole hill. The Lord has taught me to take a deep breath, relax, & let Him take control.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
While I was away from home, God taught me to cherish my family, but now that I am away from college, He has taught me to cherish the friends I met there.

I know that I will carry these lessons with me throughout the rest of my life, but I'm also excited to see how God will continue to mold me into the image of His Son. Who knows, maybe five years from now I will be able to add to & expand upon these college lessons.

Glory in This

Have you ever wondered why God included stories & examples of doubt, despair, judgment, & betrayal in the Scriptures? Why are the books of Jeremiah & Lamentations included in the cannon? Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet--can I really be encouraged as he pronounces judgment on God's people?

Yes.
{Doubting? Check out Hebrews 4:12--God's Word pierces our hearts because He knows our deepest thoughts and desires.}

As my youth leader has taught the teens about God's message of judgment to His people through Jeremiah, I have been challenged. Am I right with God or am I living a pharisaical, rebellious life? That's a tough question to swallow. In Jeremiah 9, God shares His desire to purify His people. Unfortunately, this purification can only come through righteous judgment. The chapter is filled with a rather depressing account of the judgment that will come to Judah. How can this passage be encouraging? Jeremiah talks of the destruction of Jerusalem, the wailing of the people, & the impending death. How can even we modern Christians glory in this?

We can't. But we can glory in the truth found in Jeremiah 9:23-24:

"Thus saith the Lord, Let no the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth & knoweth Me, that I am the Lord which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, & righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the Lord."

I am no better than the Israelites to whom Jeremiah pronounced judgment. I have repetedly failed, openly rebelled against, & turned away from my God. I do not need to ask if God is just in His judgment of the unfaithful & rebellious. He is a holy, righteous, perfect God. Not only does He have the right to judge me in my sin, He must  judge me or He is not God. If I, like the Israelites, glory in my own wisdom, strength, or riches, I am a fool and deserve to be judged. The only thing I can glory in is this: my knowledge of & relationship with the God of the universe.

Jeremiah 9:23-24 blew me away. I can glory in my relationship with God. Can you?

Why Worry?

Sometimes "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22) just doesn't cut it, right? I know it's not easy to trust God when the bills come. Or when family members are sick. Or when your dreams never seem to come true. Or when your enemies triumph over you. What do you do with worry then? I mean, this is worry's breeding ground.

As I thought about this cancerous characteristic in my life this weekend, I realized that the answer to worry is WORRY.

WAIT on the Lord.
Worry manifests itself the most in the moments when I refuse to be patient (another dominant struggle of mine). Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, & He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." Twice I am commanded to wait on the Lord. Why? So He can strengthen my heart in Him. Still not conviced? Check out Isaiah 40:31 & Psalm 40:1. God is listening to your worries, be sure you are willing to wait on Him.

OMIT insecurities.
In order to truly strengthen my faith in Christ, I must omit the insecurities in my life by admitting them to Christ. I cannot move forward if I am looking back. For me, omitting insecurities means recognizing that I can accomplish nothing outside of Christ. 1 Peter 5:7 encourages believers to "[Cast] all your care upon Him; for He cares for you." Do you realize that cast off means to fling or throw away. When you & I cast our cares on Christ, we're not setting them casually to the side where we can reach them again; no! we are flinging them away with such force that recollecting them would be impossible. Am I really casting all my cares on the One who cares for me?

RELY on the Lord.
Two summers ago I worked at my church's summer camp as a youth counselor. Each week I led my cabin of 4-8 girls into the woods to complete an obsticle course while learning about teamwork. Most of the activities were completed with ease, but there was one activity nearly every cabin tried to avoid: Faith Fall. Not a tremendously terrifying looking activity. Just a wooden platform nailed to a tree about 6 feet in the air. The goal: one girl stands on the platform & falls backwards off the plank into the loving arms of her cabinmates. No big deal, right? Wrong. Trust is such an easy word to say but a hard action to carry out. I mean, what if they drop me? When I worry, I am telling God, "Hey, thanks for dying for my sins, but I really don't believe that You're going to catch me when I fall." How stupid is that?! Psalm 37:3-5 tells me to "Trust in the Lord, & do good; . . . Commit thy way until the Lord; trust also in Him; & He shall bring it to pass." Fall into the arms of Christ--lean all your weight on Him--He will catch you. [Other verses I love that remind me to rely on the Lord are Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 27:13-14.]

REJOICE in the Lord.
Psalm 42:5 asks, "Why are thou cast down, O my soul? & why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God:" Everytime I find myself enslaved to the cancerous characteristic of worry I reprimand myself--why am I worried when my hope rests in the Lord? Remember, worry is the absence of trust. Worry is choosing to complain about the situation God has chosen to lead you through. In Philippians 4:4, Paul admonishes believers to "Rejoice in the Lord always: & again I say, Rejoice!" I am commanded to rejoice in the Lord always. No exceptions. [God has a plan for your life: rejoice in it! Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 118:24)

YEARN after the Lord & His will.
When I shared this with my junior high girls' Sunday School class, I received puzzled looks: "What is yearn, Miss Lawson?" I didn't realize I had chosen such an ancient word! To yearn after something is to have an earnest or strong desire for something; to be moved or attracted toward something. To yearn after Christ means to be consumed with a crazy love for the Savior of your soul! Psalm 27:8 says, "When You said, 'Seek My face"; my hear said back to You, 'Your face, Lord, will I seek.'"

Worry is a deblitating cancer, but there is a cure! Wait on the Lord. Omit your insecurities by admitting your weakness. Rely on the Lord with all your strength. Rejoice in Him always. Yearn desperately for His soul. Next time you're worried, let WORRY return you to your joy.