redefining beau-ti-ful

I love books. Reading is my escape from the world to enjoy just a few minutes of solitude for myself. Granted, those minutes usually slip away into hours, but you know what I mean. I love the thought behind "get lost in a good book". I wish I could do that everyday, however, school life & homework do take precidence to pleasure reading.

Lucky for me, this is finals week, which means I have already done all the studying possible, soo . . . I can "get lost in a good book"! The list of books I want to read is endless & I do hope to get to them all, however, this reading escapade started with "Redefining Beau-ti-ful" by Jenna Lucado.

Though I am older than the targeted age-group, I have learned much from Jenna's thoughts. From personal appearance to my relationship status with Christ, the ideas found in her devotional were spiritually uplifting. I found myself encouraged on every page & sought to turn pages faster to see what else the Lord would have for me to learn. What did I learn most? That I am beautiful in the sight of God & that is all that matters. I don't have to be popular or physically gorgeous. My character & my ministry to the Lord is what truly defines my beauty.

alma mata

Each time I return home from college I find myself walking down the haunted hallways of my Alma Mata. The school may not seem haunted because the halls & classrooms are filled with the laughing, chattering, and locker-slamming of about 200 students. But the halls are different. Seventh graders are now sophomores & the high school hallway now houses nearly the entire student body: first through twelfth. 200 used to be the number that described seventh through twelfth grade, now it embodies the entire enrollment.


Some things haven't changed, though. The noise of life is still there. And the teachers. The teachers are much the same. Many of the teachers I had in elementary and high school are still there, teaching another generation to "grow up in the nurture & admonition of the Lord." The teachers themselves are little hauntings. Though they are the same, they have changed. Some were my parents' teachers. Some are still teaching students what they taught my parents, my siblings, myself, & my peers. Others have taken on new roles: a history teacher has added seventh grade English to his roster, the computer teacher also runs the lunchroom, & the drama teacher also heads the maintenance. Even with changes, the school reminds me of the old days & gives me the comfort of being home.


As I immerse myself into the hallways, observing the teachers as a college student and future teacher, I find my mind returning to the recent past. I see the hallway, though filled with living, breathing bodies, haunted by old memories of my elementary, junior high, & high school days. Instead of being a junior in college studying to b an English & drama teacher, I am transformed back into a student of Tri-City Christian School. I remember conversations my friends & I had in those hallways, the lessons we heard & ignored, & the activities we were involved in after school.


My friends. It's funny how three years can make old friends seem like strangers. Since our graduation, we have all taken different paths. 18 different paths. One is serving our country in the Marines & the others split between starting vocations & going to college. Our relationship status' span from single to married to starting a family. It's weird, growing up & moving on. While I have never been one to regret, I look back on fond memories. Some outcomes bring smiles, others pain, & a few bring both.


My Alma Mata does not just haunt me of the past, but encourages me. As I sit in the classes & hear lessons, the passion to teach rises within me. The three semesters that stand between me & student teaching seem to be an eternity. Oh, how I want to teach now! And not just anywhere--I want to be like my mom & Mrs. Scroggins--I want to return to my Alma Mata to teach. Why? because I love the school, purple runs through my veins, & because I want to continue the legacy stated in our Alma Mata:

Righteousness & character
Virtues for our guide
From the halls of dear Tri-City
Ever shall abide

it was for me

A cross is a rather simple structure. Two rough pieces of wood, one nailed perpendicularly on top of the other. There is no refinement or glory, though many modern Christians proudly wear a silver or gold cross, beautifully embellished, around their necks. No, the cross on which my Savior bled & died was no thing of beauty. It was rough, crude, & extremely painful. There isn't a torture practiced today that is more horrendous than that of the Roman crucifiction.

Isaiah 53:4-5 says, "Surely He has borne our griefs, & carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, & afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; & with His stripes we are healed." Do you realize what that means? Christ died for me. He was beaten by men & repulsed by His Father in order to pay the enormous price for my sins. The awesomeness of His great sacrifice should never stop amazing me, yet, day-by-day I find myself complacent & often repeating the same sins over & over. The sin He died for. His pain: it was for me.

In dorm devotions tonight, Holly, my dorm supervisor, challegened us with the reality of the cross. We each were asked to bring a 3x5 card & a pen to devotions. Before starting her challenge, she handed out small finishing nails. One for each person. On that small piece of paper we were to write out one sin that we struggle with daily. As I wrote just one of the many sins I so often repeat, Holly explained that when Christ died on Calvary, He died for my sin. His pain & suffering nailed my sin to the cross. It was for me. The notecard was folded in half & each girl took her notecard & nail to a small, simple cross Holly had at the front of the room. Our sins were nailed to the cross. There was complete silence in a room filled with 60+ girls who are rather known for giggling, jokes, & laughter. The image was real. Christ died for me. It was my sin that nailed Him there.

Christ's body hung on the cross by just 3 nails, yet our cross was covered with 60+ notecards held by 60+ nails. Christ has already paid the price for them all.

It was for me.

be a missionary

Have you ever had one of those days where God reveals something so amazing & you know it was just for you? Have you ever had it happen twice in one day? What if the same lesson was reinforced a third time? Would it grab your attention & change your life?

Today was the opening of Calvary's missions conference. I have always loved missions conference. At home, the foyer of the church is teaming with people going down the hallways that surround two sides of the auditorium. Faces young, old, & everywhere in between are looking at presentation boards, picking up prayer cards, & talking with the various missionary families. In our opening service, the congregation sings "We've a Story to Tell to the Nations" as high school boys bring in the flags of the countries represented by the missionaries attending the conference that week. When we finish the hymn, each missionary & their country is presented to the audience. It's wonderful. As I see the parade of nations, I am moved. I don't think I am called into missions, but as each flag sweeps the air as the young man turns to face the congregation, I wish, for just a moment, that I could minister with the missionary family. See life as they see it.

Like I said, today was the opening service for Calvary's missions conference. In Sunday School, the Lord first grabbed my attention as Caleb Stein spoke from the book of Jonah. He captivated me for the rest of the hour with two statements he made in his introduction: Everything in the book of Jonah glorified God except Jonah & Jonah only wanted to love those he thought were deserving. It's a shame, but Jonah is an accurate representation of me & how I view others, specifically the Lost. Missionary Stein encouraged us to see others as God sees them: to share His mercy with others. Jonah did not love the people of Nineveh as God loved them; he did not see that God's love is greater than any sin & His grace is far greater than we can ever imagine. Sunday School rocked my boat.

Pastor Loggans' service following Sunday School went hand-in-hand with the lesson on Jonah. He spoke form Matthew 9. Again, it was Pastor Loggans' introduction that focused me in on the rest of the service: "One of the most overwhelmin thoughts known to man: God uses us!" He presented a dire situation: a multitude of unbelievers, a deliverant supplication: "The work of God moves forward on its knees", & a declared solution: "Here am I, Lord, send me."

As I studied for tests & wasted all too much time on facebook this afternoon, I could not get off of my mind the lesson that the Lord was teaching me: Do I see others as Chrsit does? Am I praying & willing to serve wherever He leads?

Not surprisingly, Mr. Trainer's message this evening both reinforced & expanded the messages from this morning. His challenge? What does it take to motivate me to take advantage of divine appointments? I should be looking at people through Christs eyes, because the way I see them determines how I will respond to them. His challenge came from Luke 4. The context: Christ reads from Isaiah in the synagoge & proclaims Himself as the much anticipated Messiah. Luke 4:17 lists 5 ways that Christs views the lost: poor (spiritually bankrupt), broken-hearted (emotionally destitute), captives (morally bound to sin), blind (intellectually near-sighted), & bruised (mortally demolished/hopeless).

Am I seeing others as Christ does? Does my heart break knowing what they are missing & do I rejoice to share my Christ with others?

The timing of today was no coincidence. God truly was working & "remaining anonymous." Just 2 weeks ago, Mr. Trainer presented the various missions trip opportunities we as students had for Spring Break & this summer. It was a hard decision. Two teams interested me. One to Uganda and another Ireland. As I weighed the pros & cons, the "still small voice" became louder & more clear. I knew which missions trip I was to apply for. After much prayer & counsel, it became apparent to me to apply to be part of the medical missions team to Uganda in March, despite my lack of medical skills. As of yet, I don't know if I have been accepted as part of the team, but I know, with all my heart, that just by applying I have followed the Lord's will. It's in His hands now.

Uganda won't be the beginning of my missions trip, though. It has to begin now. I have heard the Lord &, whether I accept or reject His calling, I will be changed. I'm chosing to look at others as Christ does. To have compassion on the poor, broken-hearted, blind, & bruised captives.

How will you respond?

my car

The Lord constantly amazes me. Just when I think life is out of control, just when I begin to despair because of finances, He shows me that His power is infinite. He reminds me that I am & have nothing without Him.

This summer, as I put away money for this semester's college bill, I began saving money for a car. The amount of money I had accumulated by August did not amount to much. In fact, I don't think I could by one tire with the money I had, nevertheless, it was a pitiful start to a need.

At the end of the summer my computer, which was a gracious gift from my aunt & uncle after my computer died my freshman year, began to have problems that interferred with performing simple tasks. The biggest frustration was that it would no longer hold a charge, nor could I charge it with my cable. I was frustrated, but determined to make it last me at least this semester.

God amazes me. I texted Mom about buying a computer at the exact moment that my parents were looking at computers in the Watertown WalMart. While I was considering using up my last summer paycheck to buy what I needed, my parents were talking about my need. Dad agreed to help me with my computer. He called it my car. Why? The price I would pay Dad would exhaust my car saving. It was worth it. Though I wanted that money to go toward a car, God knew what I truly needed: a computer.

No, my car does not get great gas milage, nor can I use it to take a weekend vacation home. Though some my age may think that a car would have been more beneficial as I college student, I know that the Lord specifically wanted me to have my "car": a 17.3" Toshiba. And with it I have been able to travel the world.

secret place

Let's be honest, life is hectic & filled with an incredible amount of noise. Sometimes, even in a crowded, noise-filled room, I feel the need to be alone & experience some peace & quiet. In the past couple of months, the Lord keeps reminding me that I have a secret place only found in Him. A place where I can escape the noise & hectic activities of life & be filled with His peace.

I can't say when the Lord first began to show me that He is my secret place, but I can trace the lesson to two things: The Secret Place by Ron Hamilton & The Diary of Anne Frank by Goodrich & Hackett.

The Diary of Anne Frank immersed me in the world of European Jews during World War II. I first read the play at the encouragement of a friend, & immediately fell in love with the story. In fact, I spent hours with Anne, Peter, & Mr. Frank as I memorized a selection for the college commencement competition. The Lord taught me, through the struggle of the Frank family, that He is my secret place, the place where I can hide from the terrors, trials, & wars of the world. Surrounded by bias & hatred, Anne chose to be optimistic & learned to love her secret place.

The other instrument the Lord used to turn me to His secret place was a song I learned in church choir at Windsor: The Secret Place by Ron Hamilton & Cheryl Reid. The words are so powerful. Each time I sing the song or hear it sung, I cannot help but feel that I am surrounded by the Lord. The song reminds me that no matter how loud & hectic life gets, now matter how weak I feel, no matter what trial I am facing, in Him I can find hope. I close my eyes & find that I am in my secret place.

I've found a secret place

Of comfort & release,

A special place of healing,

A quiet place of peace.

And everyone who dwells there

Finds rest beneath God's wings.

In the shade of His pavilion

New strength He always brings.

- - -

I find hope, I find grace

Far away from the world's embrace.

He gives me rest; He keeps me safe,

I find His strength, I seek His face

In the secret place.

- - -

With every trial He brings,

My Lord will make a way--

To strengthen & protect me,

To help me face each day.

He leads me through the valley

To draw me closer still,

Knowing even in the shadows

I find his perfect will.

masquerade

Have you ever watched Phantom of the Opera? The mask that the phantom wears is truly unique: it only covers the afflicted quarter of his face. I remember the first time that I watched the movie, thinking that maybe the mask hid nothing at all. But then, Christine removes it . . . & the face hidden beneath can only be described as horribly disgusting. No one really believes Christine because they have never seen the phantom unmasked for themselves. In fact, as the entire opera house celebrates the opening of a new performance no one seems to notice the phantom walking among them. Why? It's a masquerade, everyone is hiding their faces from the others.

Once a month my church has special group meetings on a Sunday evening. These meetings allow male leaders to encourage the men & women leaders to encourage the ladies. We ladies have been discussing Titus 2:3-5 "The aged women likewise . . . that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." On July 5, Mrs. O spoke on being chaste, or pure, in all areas of life.

What does pure living have to do with a masquerade? Well, Mrs. O pointed out that being chaste is not just living physically pure, but being pure in every area of life. Before Mrs. O began speaking, each lady received a paper mask with different areas of ministry (Sunday School, K4T, music, prayer warrior) written on the front. She explained that we often "decorate" our life with outward actions like we decorate the outside of a beautiful mask. I walk around in a masquerade, hiding my true purity (or lack thereof) underneath masks of ministry. Mrs. O challenged us not to be satisfied with just looking pure, but living a completely pure life from the inside out. She had us turn over the mask & write down areas that weren't so pure in our lives . . . areas that only family, close friends, & God know. As I wrote on the back of my mask, I realized that, all too often, I'm living in a masquerade.

I could write for some time about the things that I learned in that short challenge, but I think the most important one is to take off the mask & end the masquerade. There are areas of my life that may seem ugly, like the Phantom's deformity, but with the Lord's help my life can become wholly pure.

rapunzel, rapunzel

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair that I might climb the golden stair." Rapunzel is one of my favorite fairytales. No, I don't have golden hair, but I have always cherished my long, curly red hair. I have been teased countless times by friends to give some of my hair to them. One of my professors at college proclaimed that I had his favorite hair on campus & my boss on campus calls me "Amazing Hair." Every time I had to get a haircut or trim growing up I would cry. Not just a trickle of tears, but a bawling flood of tears! So, I suppose it was a shock to both friends & family when I abruptly cut 13" of my "amazing hair" off.

Grandma Gina announced to the family that she had once again been diagnosed with cancer & would begin chemo treatments in June. My grandmother has battled various forms of cancer off & on since her late 20s, but the announcement still scared me.

I had already been considering trimming my hair for the summer. My hair, even in a ponytail, layed on the back of my neck making me very hot as I worked. When Grandma Gina announced that she had cancer, I had Mom measure my hair. If I was going to cut off 6", why not just cut off 12" & donate it to women who have lost their hair because of their battle with cancer? Though my grandmother has never lost a hair on her head in her 40+ years of battling with cancer, I decided that I would donate mine for her.

The Monday after I returned from West Virginia Mom & I went to get my hair cut. Though my hair is a little shorter than I expected, I'm glad that I was able to give my amazing hair to give a courageous woman back some of her pride.

I may not have done much, but I hope I have made an impact & encouraged others to pray for & help those fighting with cancer. After all, even Rapunzel cut her hair.

my best friend's wedding

In the '90s Julia Roberts starred in a movie, My Best Friend's Wedding. The audience was heart-broken as Julia's best friend (a handsome young man) fell in love with & married someone else. My best friend's wedding was no heart-break . . . it was a beautiful union between two amazing people.

For you to fully understand my friendship with Janessa, I'll have to start with a little history.

Janessa first visited Kansas City when we were in fourth grade. Her father was possibly taking a possition at the church, so she & her siblings were visiting the school. When she walked in I pounced on her, asked her to help me with my class project, & determined that she would be my friend. Her family moved to Kansas City that summer & we have been friends, best friends, ever since. We were virtually inseperable for the seven years that her family lived in Kansas City, with one exception: cheerleading. At the end of our junior year of high school, Mr. Van announced that the family would be moving to West Virginia. I was heart-broken, kinda like Julia Roberts' character, but for a different reason (after all, I wasn't hoping to marry my best friend). Due to pre-arranged plans, Janessa & her brother, Peter, stayed with my family the last two weeks of the summer before moving. Though we did next to nothing, those are the days that stick out most in my mind.

I never thought that the next time I visited her home it would be for my best friend's wedding.

Mom, Crys, & I left for West Virginia early Wednesday morning for an exciting weekend fully focused on my best friend's wedding. Wednesday night I spent the night with Janessa & some of her friends from West Virginia. We had fun watching movies, snacking, & playing games. My favorite part of the evening was not when there was lots of noise & people, but when we went to bed. Janessa & I stayed in a room together. Though I was tired from a long day (12 hours) of driving, nothing would have replaced being able to just talk with my best friend. Nothing in the world beats being able to talk with someone face-to-face.

Thursday Janessa & I set out on a "short" walk to the "near-by" convienience store for some slushies. The walk was a little further than JV thought, so when some of the girls drove by we did not hesitate to catch a ride to get our slushies & then headed to the mall to meet Aron & the guys. Mom & Crys met me at the mall & we hung out until it was time to head to the park for dress rehersal. Pastor Wiebe kept rehersal short & sweet so we could get to the delicious meal that Aron's parents prepared. As the party dissolved, some of the girls at rehersal begged to go out. The guys bummed out (claim of no money), so the girls went to an arcade. Once again it was great to spend time with Janessa & some of her friends, but we were all focused on one thing: my best friend's wedding.

Friday was a day with nothing scheduled . . . at first. Late Thursday night, Janessa, Aron, & Dan Moore, the photographer, decided to take the bride & groom pictures Friday afternoon instead of Saturday morning. Being both the maid-of-honor & Janessa's best friend, I volunteered to tag along & help wherever needed. So, Mom & I arrived at the Van's for breakfest. While Mom & Mrs. Van ran errands (like picking up the wedding gown) I did JV's hair & helped her primp for pictures. Before long the moms, the dress, the photographer, the sister, & the fiance' were all at the house getting ready for pictures. Before the beautiful bride came out into the livingroom, I called Aron into the room so he could see his bride in her wedding dress for the first time. I will never forget the look on his face . . . nor could I wait to get out of that room so they could have a minute alone. Before long we were driving around Huntington watching the photographer capture beautiful pictures of the bride & groom. No matter what was going on around them, their soul focus was each other. It was beautiful. I don't think it really sank in until that afternoon that the next day was my best friend's wedding.

After all the fun of driving from spot to spot, helping the bride in & out of the car, carrying the train & bouquet, & giving up my flip-flops so the bride could walk through the mud, Mom, Crys, & I went to the mall & Applebee's to enjoy a little time alone. Later that evening, Janessa came over & I did her nails, enjoying one last talk together as single friends. After she left, Mom, Crys, & I walked over to the church & helped the Van's set up the reception hall for the next afternoon. I went to bed at 1 a.m. excited about the next day: my best friend's wedding.

I woke up bright & early on Saturday excited about everything. Mom helped me finish my hair before we all headed over to the church to meet the rest of the bridal party as they primped & prepared for pictures. Though I had already seen Janessa in her wedding dress, helping her get ready for the wedding took my breath away . . . & not just mine, Aron's too. Though they had spent the previous day together in wedding garb, when Aron saw Janessa on Saturday morning, his eyes sparkled. The Lord truly blessed my best friend!

The ceremony was short & sweet with only one major hitch: the music being played at the wrong time (Viva la Vida during the sand ceremony). It was simply beautiful. I did not need Pastor Wiebe's encouragement to keep my eyes only on the bride; seeing her as a bride captivated all of my attention. The rest of the day seemed to fly by. The best part of the day, for me, wasn't part of the ceremony or being with everyone at the reception, but for 5 minutes at the end of the reception I was able to talk with Janessa alone.

May 30, 2009 was a wonderful beginning to, what I believe, a wonderful life. To you, it may not have been anything special, but for me, it was my best friend's wedding.

i saw Jesus in you

Another semester of college has ended. Though I am glad to be done with classes, home, & looking forward to the fun & excitement of summer, I know I will greatly miss 3 girls that the Lord has brought into my life. My life has radically changed since meeting them, because in everything they did, I saw Christ.

I entered my sophomore year of college with both excitement & reservations--just as you would do if you knew you were going to spend the next 9 months with three other girls. I didn't know what to expect. I had prayed all summer that the Lord would put me into the room that I needed most; God answered my prayer. What an awesome room I was placed in! Definitely the best room on Maranatha's campus (I dare someone to dispute that). Christ was preeminent in everything. I was put in a room where I can say, to each of my roommates, "I saw Jesus in you."

Kristin, my PC, is a junior nursing student. Kris is dedicated in every area of her life: grades, friends, prayer, & devotions. No matter how busy Kris seemed to be (as a nursing student, she was always busy) she would take the time to laugh, cry, pray, or just talk. I don't know how she did it. My only hope is that someday I can be like her. Just when my day looked the darkest, just when I needed encouragement the most, Kris would tell me either verbally or through a note that she was praying for me. Kristin's life challenged me. How selfish had I become over the year! I was constantly thinking only of myself & Kris gave the little time she had to listen, love, & pray for me! Kris, I saw Jesus in you!

Kris had quite a task before her--Elle, Mandy, & I aren't exactly the quiet, reserved type like Kris. But, she handled us quite well. Kristin's focus for our room was prayer. She constantly challenged me, through word & deed, to talk to God about EVERYTHING. When Elle joined us in January, we began a prayer chain; every request that we saw the Lord answer was put on a construction paper ring & hung outside our door for all of our dormmates to see. After white glove, we all took a picture with the ring that nearly covered our door posts. God is so good!

I remember the first time Mandy & her mom walked into Weeks 109--boy she had alot of stuff! It didn't take long for Mandy & I to realize that we were going to get along just fine. Throughout the semester we would talk & would not be suprised when the other would say, "that's how I feel too!" Mandy was definitely a blessing . . . just like Kristin. Mandy & Kristin prayed for me in ways I am sure I will never completely understand. I am so lucky to have had such great friends as roommates. Whenever I needed help, Mandy was there . . . even when I volunteered her & her truck to help collect clothing for a ministry garage sale. She simply smiled & told me that is what friends are for. Fun was always right around the corner with Mandy . . . even when she would be dutifully studying for her classes. Though I am "deaf" ("If you need me, leave me a note") I am thankful for the nights that she talked loud enough to keep me awake & listen to her talk about the Lord & her life. Whether we were talking in the room, studying, going on a random walk, or talking to Dave, Mandy was always the friend I needed & could read my every emotion. There is no doubt, Mandy, that I saw Jesus in you.

The spring semester brough a great surprise . . . Elle. Elle's outspoken passion for Christ ignited a fire in our room. I was constantly humbled by Elle's enthusiasm in serving Christ. Her life's focus is to be in the center of God's will (which will eventually lead her to Kenya) & her every action shows that God's will is neither boring nor terrifying: it's simply wonderful. Though Elle & I may have disagreed in a few areas (two, no three, opinionated people in one room will bring little conflicts at times) we never held grudges & would soon find ourselves laughing or pulling a prank on someone. Always armed with her mace, Elle & I had some great walks ("we're rwalking, that's what they do in rwanda") & even more awesome talks. One of the first weekends Elle & I were alone in the room & we talked for 2 hours about our dreams. There is no doubt that the Lord had a purpose for bringing Elle into my life last semester.

There is so much more I could say about these 3 wonderful girls. So many talks, prayer requests, praises, room parties, & quotes, but those things are not as important as the spiritual impact they all had on my life this year. The fun times have ended for now, but I'm sure we will add to them in the future. God was so good to give me such wonderful roommates; I truly was not worthy of such a wonderful gift. Though I will never again share a room with these wonderful girls, there is no doubt that they have been added to a list of people that have been brought into my life that I proudly say (& give them a BIG hug), "I saw Jesus in you."

half time

Various different sports have been used to describe the Christian life. The most common example, of course, is Paul's use of a race. On Sunday morning, I heard a sports analogy that I had never thought of before: the Christian life has a . . . half-time?

Pastor (excuse me) Evangelist Morris Gleiser was able to challenge me from the Word of God for the second time this semester when he came to lead revival services at my extension church. It was a great encouragement for Jarid, Crys, & I to catch up with him & his wife. We were not only able to talk to them about what they are doing for the Lord, but also about how the Lord is leading in our own lives.

The Sunday School service was a challege for the church to be faithful in seeking the Lord & to come to the revival services thirsty & ready to drink in God's Word. Where does half-time fit in? Pastor Gleiser mentioned that the half-time of a game is a time where the team is encouraged to be diligent & continue in good work. Half-time is meant to empower the team. To excite them. For me half-time was not a break, but the time when I took the court, but even for cheerleaders like me, half-time was refreshing, encouraging, & empowering. The church, he reflected, is a team. A body of believers working together to accomplish the goal of Christ. Revival (meaning new awakening) is the Christian's half-time. A time to be spiritually refreshed & encouraged. A time for clearified direction. A time to reignite passion.

I was shocked. Revival is half-time. It is everything that Pastor Gleiser said: refreshing, encouraging, empowering, & directive. It's funny how something as silly as a sports illustration can be an encouragement, but God is amazing like that.

So, are you praying for half-time?

anamosa, iowa

"A coincidence is a miracle where God chooses to remain anonymous."

God works in miraculous ways. I never thought that I would learn something about the Lord by having car trouble & being stuck in a hotel in Anamosa, Iowa, but I did.

The last week of school was filled with the excitement and anticipation of going home for spring break at the end of the week. We, that is Mike Collison, Lacey Steffen, Jarid, Crystal, and I, were no exception. We could not wait to get home!

After crossing into Iowa around 5:30, Lacey and I were ready for a stop. While we were walking around in the gas station, Mike checked his tires and we were off again. It was then that we noticed a strange sound coming and Lacey noticed a little bit of smoke coming out of the right side of the hood. Now, Mike is notorious for having car problems on trips . . . we soon realized that this trip would be no exception. We pulled off the interstate in Anamosa, Iowa, possibly the last stop for miles. Mike again pulled into a gas station to check the car. The alternator belt was missing. What had cued Mike there was a problem? The funny noise and the fact that he had lost power-steering (which is a funny thing to watch). We drove up to Wal-Mart (a supposed Supercenter) and found that they did not have any belts. We were sent to another store that "should" have the part we needed. No luck. The employees there sent us to an autoparts store . . . which was closed. We were about to give up when we saw a police officer walking out of a family restaurant. Mike, rather humourously, parked and caught the officer before he drove off. The officer took us to a towing and mechanics shop in town.

When Mike pulled in at Red's we all got out and huddled around the hood as the mechanic and police officer talked. The mechanic pulled the melted, streached out alternator belt out of the car. Several times the mechanic went back to the shop checking for a belt he could put on the car. No such luck . . . AND every auto dealer in town was closed. Our best choice was to stay in Anamosa for the night and continue to Missouri and Kansas in the morning. Before we officially gave up, Lacey called AAA. We all discussed our options (we all are, after all, college students) and decided the best bet was to stay in Anamosa. The mechanic was generous enough to drive us to the Super8 where we booked two rooms for the night.

It was disappointing to look at the clock and realize that it was only 6 in the evening and we were stuck 4 hours from home for the night, but we made the most of our night. We walked to the family restaurant where we found the officer and had a great pizza and just talked for about an hour and a half. It's funny, I have known Mike for years and have gone to college with Lacey for two years and I was finally able just to talk to them. After dinner, we went to our rooms and just hung out.

The boys left at 8:15 on Saturday morning to walk to the mechanics shop to be there when the car got fixed and will come back and get us girls. The guys got back to the hotel at 9 and informed us that the car would not be ready until at least 11:30. Lacey and I decided to go on a walk to Wal-Mart. We passed the time by just talking and hanging out outside of the hotel room. At 11, we checke out of the hotel and started walking to the mechanics shop--it was not a short walk. The car was still not ready, so we left our stuff in the shop and walked around downtown Anamosa for an hour--almost everything was "Closed for Good". We all laughted at that. The car was ready at 12:30 and after a much needed food stop at Hardy's, we were back on the road.

The next 4.5 hours were mostly devoted to sleep, which I must say can be pretty uncomfortable when you are in the middle. We all cheered (well, maybe Mike didn't ) as we crossed the Iowa/Missouri border. God is good. Jarid, Crys, and I stepped in the house at 6:15. For all of the seeming problems, God showed that He was in control and we were able to have alot of fun between WI and MO.

Did we want to spend the night in Anamosa, Iowa? Of course not, but we were able to see how the Lord worked in the situation:

1. Mike heard a noise and realized he lost power-steering and did not ignore the problems
2. There was an exit for Anamosa almost immediately after Mike realized there was a problem
3. Mike and Jarid were able to realize the problem with the car
4. We went to Wal-Mart where we had an employee point us to a store where an employee pointed us to a store which was closed but driving by we saw an officer
5. The officer took the time to help us and direct us to someone who could help
6. A mechanic who was on his way home stayed to help us
7. The mechanic drove us to Super8 where we were able to book two rooms
8. We all had enough money to split dinner and the rooms
9. We had an adventure together :)

It's funny how the unexpected things in life draw our attention to God. We could have been out on the interstate and wrecked or been stuck in the middle of nowhere, but God led us to Anamosa and we had a great adventure.

just plain foolishness

Rand Hummel's conference at the beginning of the week was awesome. It felt like I was reliving my "camp" years--no one should ever outgrow camp. Why did Winterfest feel like camp? Well, along with having pretty much everyone's favorite camp speaker, we had class-focused spirit week. The week was filled with spiritual wisdom, but overall, it was just plain foolishness.

Each day of spirit week had a general theme, but to add to the foolishness, each class had a subcategory all their own. The freshmen, sophomore, junior, & senior classes were distinct as each student dressed according to theme--excited to have a week of just plain foolishness.

Monday: Holidays
Christmas in . . . February, at least for me & the other sophomores. The other classes celebrated Thanksgiving (freshmen), St. Patty's (juniors), & the 4th of July (seniors). Crystal & I went all out for Christmas--Crys dressed as a Christmas tree & I was a snowman. The freshmen had great enthusiasm and imagination--I saw a pumpkin pie & more than a few overly stuffed individuals--it was just plain foolishness!

Tuesday: Eras

This day was soo much fun. I have always loved playing dress-up, so when the opportunity arose, I pulled out all of my costumes hoping that my roommates (or someone on my floor) would be able to use something. Fashions of ancient Greece & Rome (freshmen), the Middle Ages (sophomores), the Colonial period (juniors), & the future (seniors) were put on display. With all of the sheets-turned-togas, girls in formals, colonial outfits including bonnets, and tinfoil, it was plain that everybody was enjoying this day of just plain foolishness.

Wednesday: Stages of Life

Toddler, teen, mid-life crisis, or senior citizen: which stage of life would you prefer to emulate? Well, we didn't have much of a choice, though I did enjoy reliving my teen years (not really) on Wednesday. The freshmen mostly copped out by simply wearing a pacifier with normal clothing and there were far too many pregnant middle-aged women. I would have to say that the gray haired senior citizens and the side-ponytailed, over-makeuped teens definitely topped as just plain foolishness.

Thursday: Class Color

Go Green! Crazy chapel is always a highlight of spirit week. Seeing everyone decked to the hilt in their class color, whether it be pink, green, red, or black & blue. Even Dr. Phelps joined in on the fun as he officiated the fun activities done during chapel. My class may not have won the week, but hey, at least we didn't get last . . . the afternoon was just plain foolishness.

Friday: Blue & Gold Day

The week closed with a tribute to the school itself. No class divisions on Friday. We all unified to one student body decked out in Maranatha's blue and gold. There is little sweeter than seeing 800+ college students being "true to [your] school"--and yes, all the crazy blue & gold proved that, sometimes, life is just plain foolishness.

grow up!

Have you ever read J. M. Barrie's "Peter Pan" or "The Boy Who Would Not Grow Up"? I was reading thru the play for fun, little did I know that the Lord would use that play to show me that I need to grow up.

This week was Winterfest--a fancy name for revival and spirit week. Rand Hummel of the Wilds came to speak Monday thru Wednesday. Due to my work schedule, I was only able to attend one service--the one I needed. Rand spoke on Peter Pan (what a coincident) & how he chose never to grow up. Though this is a great play, it is a horrible life lesson. Rand encouraged the college students to grow up & become all that the Lord desires of them. I cannot affectively serve the Lord if I am still acting like a child, refusing to grow up.

To add to the irony, the story I selected for the Tantalizing Tidbits (a weekly menu I put out for the dining common at the college) dealt with the life of James Barrie. His older brother died suddenly at the age of 12 or 13 & his mother refuse to give up weeping over the loss of her son. Young Jimmie vowed to imortalize his brother by refusing to grow up. Jimmie's desire effected every area of his growth, including his physical growth. James Barrie barely measured 5 feet. How sad that a young man gave up his life for a selfish mother. Rand used Peter Pan as an example of Christians who refuse to "put away childish things" & grow in the Lord. Rand was right, like many others, I need to grow up!

I did enjoy reading "Peter Pan", but as a Christian, I don't want to stay in Neverland or even yearn for it forever. I want to grow up in Christ, for then I am sure I will find that dreams can never compare to reality. Unlike Peter, I will discover that life is my greatest adventure.

E-X-C-I-T-E-D

Dorm Devos--before coming to college, I could not wait for dorm life, especially the devos. What would be cooler than getting to hear others share their heart for God? Now, don't get ahead of me & assume that I detest dorm, core, room, & floor devos; quite the opposite. I love devotions, but I felt something was missing, but what? My roommates & I began discussing the subject. Our conclusion: excitement was lacking.

Devos had simply become a 15 minute intrusion on study time where we were forced to sit in the cold basement, listen to someone share a short devo, pray with the same group of people, & then return to homework & phone calls to Mom or boyfriend. I was disappointed. I had been learning so much from chapel & personal devotions, I could hardly wait to see what the Lord was going to teach me in dorm devotions! As Hayley (my dorm sup) & Melissa (my RA) would share their heart some would stare blankly into space, some talked with the girl next to them, & some, a disappointing few, listened intently & soaked in some precious truth from God's Word. I am NOT getting down on my fellow dormmates. I, too, have been guilty of not paying attention, but something needed to change, something needed to be done to bring excitement back to devos.

Elle, a transfer student from PCC, joined our room this semester full of excitement (& opinions) about everything. After devos one night, she came back to the room disappointed. Before we knew it, Hayley was in our room & we all were excitedly talking about how we could make devos more--exciting. We realized that the change had to be within us before we could ask others to be as excited. As a room, we challenged ourselves to some goals so we would not fall back into the form of normalicy--fall back into complacency.

A plan was made that night, & tonight, Weeks 109 was able to carry out the most radical form of excitement for devos you have probably ever heard.

Elle prepared a challenge for the dorm. A challenge to be different. A challenge to stand out. A challenge to be excited about dorm devotions. Before Elle talked to the dorm, we, uh, encouraged the dorm to get excited about devos--specifically core group devos. What did we do? I'm glad you asked.

First, we painted our faces. Now, you are probably wondering what facepaint has to do with devos. Nothing. We just wanted to paint our faces. We painted our faces green & black (Weeks' dorm colors) & each of us wore a dorm shirt. Part of devos is getting together as a family, so we weren't just getting everybody excited about devos, but about being part of the Weeks family.

Second, we made signs. Bright green posterboard spelled out C.O.R.E. I also came up with an acronymn for C.O.R.E.

• COME ready to learn about & rejoice in the Lord
• ON TIME--devos start at 10, not 10:01 or 10:10
• REJOICE in what God is doing in your & the other girls' lives
• ENJOY fellowship with those in the dorm (especially the ones you may not know)

I don't know if anyone else will remember the acronymn, but it sure has been a help to me to remind me why I should be excited about devotions.

We put the signs to use in our third activity: we ran in (ironically, late) cheering! With the signs lifted above our heads, we encouraged the girls to "give me a C!" as Elle sprayed silly string on our confused & skeptical dormmates. Yes, I'm sure we looked like fools with our faces painted & signs above our heads, but nothing beat how excited we were about devos.

Finally, Elle challenged the girls to get excited. Even though we had talked for hours about the topic, I couldn't help be get excited as Elle shared her heart with the others in our dorm. Why isn't everyone excited about what God is doing & will do in our lives?

You may think we went to the extreme, but I'm glad the Lord gave me the opportunity to get others excited about Him. Even if our litte pep rally didn't effect anyone else, I know that Weeks 109 will never be the same. Praise the Lord!

I Give It Back

Last week, Evangelist Morris Gleiser held revival services at the college. God is soo good--I grew soo much last week. I am newly excited about where the Lord is leading me & loving every minute of my refinement. I'll have to blog some more later . . .

Sunday was a great follow-up to everything that touched my heart during the revival services. Sunday was my first service back at Windsor & the Lord used a song that we are singing in choir to grab hold of my heart. As we practiced I Give It Back by Ron Hamilton, I was challeged to stand firm in my convictions of the previous week & give EVERYTHING back to the Lord, who gave so much for me.

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All of my talent: It is amazing how often I rely on myself for my abilities. I can do NOTHING outside the power of God. He is the One that has given me every one of my abilities: playing the flute & piccolo, calligraphy, work ethic, dramatic talent . . . everything is an absolute blessing & gift from Him.

All of my time: Wow! What a phrase! This semester it seems as though I have NO time at all (yet, I have found time to blog in the middle of the week . . . ). Between 18 credit hours, two jobs, & being in a play, my "free" time is mostly given to homework & other academic projects. Yet, the Lord asks for ALL of my time. I Corinthians 10: 31 says, "Whethertherefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do (work, classes, & homework), do ALL to the glory of God." Every moment of everyday in everything that I do, I am to be giving my time to the Lord. I don't work for Mr. Rick or Mrs. Sturgill, I work for the Lord. I don't study so I can achieve academic greatness, I study so I can better give my time to the Lord.

All of my treasure: What is important to you? What do you hold dearly? Those things which we hold dear are our "treasure". Those things do not have to be monetarily expensive, they are expensive because of their importance. The Lord asks me to give Him all those things which I hold dear. Sometimes, that is soo hard! Think about it--I am asked to give everything, even my dreams, to the Lord. Doesn't He deserve them?

Shall never be mine: This clause applies to the three previous statements: my talent, time, & treasure should always be resting in the hands of God, not in mine.

All that I am, All I shall be: No matter what I do or how people perceive me; No matter who I become, how much money I have, or how many amazing things I will do;

Lord, You gave it to me: this line really need no explination--He gave me everything. Who I am & who I will be is dependant on Him, I can only ruin His perfect plan for me.

I give it back to You: With all that He has given & done for me, how can I refuse to give Him anything less than everything?

My lips will sing Your praise: Have you ever read the Psalms? You should. The Psalms are overflowing with praise to God. One psalm even notes that the snow & rain praise God (for me, this is not hard to imagine, for I praise God for the snow & rain, but I have a sibling who absolutely detests snow). If nature, inanimate & without souls, can praise the Lord, how much louder ought I to sing praises to the Lord?!

All things come from You: As my cousin says in her Puggles presentation, "God made EVERYTHING!" Though she was only 3 at the time, she hit the nail on the head--God created everything. "And He is before all things, & by Him, all things consist (cohere, are held together)" Colossians 1:17.

You are the only source for the good I do: "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, & I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing" (John 15:5). In my innate, sinful nature I am incapable of doing good. Everywhere I turn, people are taught that man is innately good, but that is a lie: "as by one man sin entered the world, & death by sin" (Romans 5:12). Only one person can free me from the bonds of sin & He is the God-man Jesus Christ.

I will be Your servant though you have set me free. Master & Creator, You'll be Lord to me: I Corinthians 6:20 & 7:23 both begin with the phrase "ye are bought with a price." That price was the most precious thing the world has ever known, nothing will ever compare to its value: it's the blood of Christ. The following phrases in bothe of these verses give reason as to why I should be thankful for the price Christ paid. 6:23 says, "therefore glorify God in your body, & in your spirit, which are God's." Because Christ paid my overwhelming debt of sin, I owe Him my life. The second phrase in 7:23 says, "be ye not the servants of man." Notice that I am not commanded to serve Christ, but it is a suggestion. With all that He gave me, what could I possibly give Him that would show my greatest thanks?

Take my lips & let them be filled with messages for Thee: Growing up in a Christian school it seemed that I was constantly challenged to constantly be speaking of the Lord. At first, this seemed hard, but the more I get to know my Lord, the more I find myself talking of things of the Lord. No matter where I go, no matter who I am talking to, Christ's name should be part of the conversation because He is my life.

Take my silver & my gold--not a mite would I withhold: This phrase is a reiteration of "all of my treasure," but rather than just stating what should be, this phrase shows that I am willingly giving back to God what He has so graciously given me.

I give it back to you.

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It's amazing how the Lord sometimes uses something that is so familiar to remind me of His amazing grace & love. I have sung or heard this song many times, yet most often I am guilty of simply hearing the song & not listening to its message. Sunday, the song captured my attention & I was no longer just singing I Give It Back.

a person's a person, no matter how small

For the first time EVER I am using my blog as a soapbox . . . so to speak. I don't intend to do this often, but this subject is very close to my heart.

Abortion has always been a topic that moves me emotionally. How can a person take the life of a young child? How can a person be so ignorant as to think that a fetus is not a human life? Isaiah 44:24 says, "Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and He that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things." For me, that settles is. God created me, in intricate detail, not when I was born, but while I was in my mother's womb. How awesome is that?!

Though abortion has be legal for quite some time (Roe vs. Wade, 410 US 113--1973), it never really effected me until I began working with political offices in 2000. All of the sudden, I realized that I could have an impact on the government--all of the sudden, my voice & opinion mattered! My sophomore year I helped with both the presidential election & promoted the sanctity of marriage & a ban on the use of an embrio for human cloning & medical research. The election & the two amendments set my brain in motion, I could no longer be naive about current issues. One thought kept running thru my head: a person is a person . . .

My junior year I was selected, as part of my drama class, to participate in a choric speaking--the selection? Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Suess. At this point you may be wondering what a children's book has to do with abortion, but the Lord used this funny story to grab my attention. Horton's most famous line is "a person's a person, no matter how small." During the choric speaking, I was a Who from Whoville--one of my lines required two other girls & me to repeat the line, "we are here! We are here! We are here!" How that line rings in my head now. Every day thousands of little, precious lives are screaming, "I am here!" only to be silenced before they are given the chance to breathe.

Forgive me, friends, for being so political, but it is our duty as Christians to protect the most wonderful thing outside of salvation--LIFE.

The writers of the FOCA (Freedom of Choice Act) are hoping to see their dreams come true. I hate to say this, but I hope I can be one to squash their dreams. The FOCA is a morally discusting & terrifying bill requiring religious hospitals, doctors, & nurses to act outside of their freedom of religion & allow & perform abortions. If these religious perfessionals & institutions refuse to perfom abortions, they risk losing their license, profession, & facilities. The Act also wants to reverse the Partial Birth Abortion Act of 2003 & nullify the law requiring doctors & hospitals to notify a minor's parents of the operation. There are many other things about this Act that I could rant & rave on. Educate yourself--be informed. Our freedoms are at risk, let your voice be heard, scream "a person's a person, NO MATTER how small!" If this interests you, more information can be found at www.FOCAfacts.com.

If this topic scares you as it does me, don't lose heart, you, too, have a voice for the tiny 'Who's of this world. If you really want your voice to be heard, contact your representative in DC & let them know that you discourage the passing of this act. More importantly, pray. Pray that the Lord would grant wisdom to those He has placed in office & be amazed at His amazing power. Then, when you go to school, to work, or just out to have fun, tell everyone, "a person's a person, no matter how small!"