28 September 2010

the secret garden--journal 4

The long drive home and back to college this weekend gave me plenty of time to read The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgeson Burnett. The nine hour drive Sunday afternoon married the messages of the morning and the fantasy world of Misselthwait Manor in my mind. My thoughts compared the beauty of the secret garden to the peace I have in Christ.

I have always loved the story of The Secret Garden. I remember watching the movie over and over again in elementary, but time passed and I forgot about the beautiful garden. The story captured me once again after hearing Broadway’s version on an ipod at camp this summer. As soon as I returned home, I bought the CD for myself and listened to it religiously during the first two weeks at college. I finally bought the book last week and determined to read it during my trip home this weekend. And I did.

The magic of the story returned as soon as I opened the cover. Peaceful thoughts filled me as I delved deeper into the book. I could hardly wait to turn the page and read by the glow of a flashlight when the sun went down. Nothing could keep me from the words on the page. Well, almost nothing. As I read I was reminded of a verse I heard in Sunday School. Matthew 11:28 says, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and hare heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

For Mary Lennox and Colin Craven, peace and rest are represented by the “Magic” of the secret garden, but that is not true peace. God is peace. He promises the heavy-laden and overburdened ease and relief. He knows and can give exactly what is needed.

Distress is a part of life. Like Mary and Colin, I become overwhelmed with circumstances and only see the gray, dead world around me. Selfishness blinds the beauty that surrounds me; it separates me from the peace I have in Christ. If I listen to the voice of God and cultivate my soul to grow in Him, a secret garden will grow within me.

22 September 2010

jello & dreams

I hate jello. Nothing about watered-down, partially-solidified Kool-Aid sounds edible to me. The thought of jello jiggling down my throat makes me cringe. Friends & family who delight in this dessert disaster confuse me. Sure, jello jiggles & invokes laughter in young children, but who really wants to eat a dessert that still moves in its final form. And don't get me started on putting fruit chunks inside. *Bleck!*

Opinionated? Absolutely.

Now, to completely change subject (I'll get to the connection in a second), I love to dream. Spare minutes, whether between classes or riding in the car, fill my mind with hopes & dreams. Scraps of paper & blank pages disappear quickly as I quickly try to capture the thoughts running through my brain. I currently keep up with three journals. Yes, you read that correctly: three.

Obsessed? Maybe. 

In devos this week, Holly related dreams to jello. Dreams, like jello, conform to the shape of the mold they are in. The conformity deceives, though. A slight jiggle or squeeze changes the shape indefinitetly. I dislike jello because I cannot grasp it. If I grab too tightly, the jello oozes between my fingers & falls to the ground. My dreams are the same way, when I hold onto them tightly, they fall apart.

Dreams & jello must be held with care--hands open & palms to the sky. As a dreamer, I hold tightly to my dreams. I built them with sweat & tears, so I don't to see them destroyed or changed. How could they get any better? I built them.

But that's the problem. I built them. How can my dreams get better? By letting the Master Architect take over. By giving God complete control. When I hold my dreams like I hold jello--hands open, palms to the sky--I am allowing Him to shape my dreams for the best.

Carey Scmidt, author of Life Quest, uses Jeremiah 29:11 describes God's plan for my dreams this way, "He's [God] notonly thinking of me, He's thinking good thoughts [emphasis mine]. . . . But He doesn't stop there. It gets better. . . . He continues unabashedly unveiling His passionate heart for you. He says that He's thinking thoughts of peace to bring you to an expected end--a quest with a delightful destination! Those words expected end literally mean an arrival at the things you've hoped for or the fulfillment of the deepest longings of your heart. Are you falling in love with this God as much as I am?"

I am.

Dreams are jello, so don't hold on too tight, or they'll ooze between your fingers.

20 September 2010

first impressions--journal 3

As I was reading “The Mousetrap,” a mystery play by Agatha Christie, thoughts of first impressions came to my mind. “The Mousetrap” traps the characters and audience in the newly opened Monkswell Manor guest house during a snow storm. First impressions cause Mollie and Giles Ralston, the owners of Monkswell Manor, to question the character of their guests. Secrets hide the truth and a twist ending surprises all. Though the Ralstons and their guests are creations of Agatha Christie, assumptions based on first impressions occur often in real life.

Each new segment of my life brings change. Some changes I run to with anticipations, others I crawl slowly toward, afraid of the outcome. Whether I run with anticipation or crawl with fear, change involves people and first impressions. New semesters bring new roommates, camp brought new coworkers, and each camp week brought three to nine new campers. My first impressions of these new people are as varied as their individual personalities. My initial reaction to new people often parallels Giles’s attitude: everyone is weird.

Counseling at camp this summer showed me the flaws I make with first impressions. Every Monday for nine weeks, I met and made assumptions about new campers. I based my assumptions on church membership, dress height, and weight. Before I knew her name, I mentally evaluated the joy and trials my camper would bring to the cabin. The second week of junior camp brought four bubbly, hyper girls to my cabin. I anticipated a fun, stress-free week. I was wrong. Every day was filled with the constant giggling of four disobedient girls. Frustration filled me as I reprimanded them at every turn. My first impression was dead wrong. The angel-faced eight-year-olds I welcomed on Monday morning brought me to my knees multiple times throughout each day. By the end of the week, I realized that second impressions deceive as well. The four girls God sent me that week were what I needed to become more like Christ.

12 September 2010

water--journal 2

As I was reading a quote by Helen Keller this weekend, I was struck with the impact my words have on myself and those around me. The life of Helen Keller has always interested me, so I jumped at the opportunity to read The Miracle Worker, a play on Keller’s childhood, for one of my dramatic production classes last year. Keller lived in a dark and silent world almost from birth. Until Anne Sullivan arrived and began to teach her, Keller never knew the beauty and wonder of the world that surrounded her. Sullivan’s games brought light to Keller’s world. Years later Keller looked back on the day she first understood the language Sullivan was teaching: “The mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that ‘water’ meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, joy, set it free!”

Words are powerful. I can affect a friend’s attitude just by my words. Keller said that words “awakened my soul, gave it light, joy, set it free.” What I have to say can bring light and joy to others. Counseling at a Christian camp this summer gave me opportunity to watch God use my words to brighten the lives of others. When my own wisdom and words failed, which was often, I delighted to see God speak through me. One Friday evening I was able to sympathize with a camper because of a personal trial God had already brought me through. God gave me the words she and I both needed so we could in turn give glory to Him. As I related my story to her, God brought verses to my mind. Ephesians 3:20-21 says, “Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end, Amen.” The words of God’s promise awakened, brightened, filled, and freed me in the same way that the knowledge and understanding of ‘water’ impacted Keller.


06 September 2010

castles in the air

Writing has always been a passion of mine, so a required class titled 'Advanced Writing' tickled my fancy. What could possibly be more fun than a class about writing? Each week I have to turn in a journal assignment that begins "As I was reading __________ this weekend, a thought struck me . . ." Being the planner that I am, I was anticipating writing my first journal entry on a new book I am reading, but my plans were changed when Mandy Jo gave me a journal she bought for me in China.

The cover reads 'DREAM' in big, bold, red letters. I was excited just by the cover--I love dreams! --but the real treasure are the pages between the covers. Pictures of sea & landscapes fill the book with little quotes on life & dreaming sprinkled along the way. Of course, there is pleanty of room to write as well. Mandy Jo could not have selected a better gift!

Homework was a quick & easy task this weekend & I soon found myself bored. Reading was an option, but I really wasn't in the mood. As I scanned my desk, my eyes caught the little DREAM journal. What fun it would be to fill those blank pages! I sat at my desk for five minutes or more contemplating what to fill the blank spaces with. Then it hit me. Why not write down my dreams--the realistic & fanciful, plausible & impractical--in the book filled with quotes on dreams?

Almost immediately, a quote by Henry David Thoreau came to mind. With the aid of google, I quickly located the entire quote, which, in turn, sparked the idea for my journal entry this week. Below is the entire quotation (I love the whole passage) & part of my writing assignment. Be encouraged! Dream big & build your castles in the air!

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favour in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” (Thoreau, Walden)

Thoreau’s encouragement brings to mind so many of God’s promises to me, particularly those of his thoughts for me and His will for the direction of my life. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that God has thoughts and plans for my life that exceed my wildest dreams. The castles He would build for me are far greater than any I could build for myself.

I am, without a doubt, a dreamer. I desire to accomplish great things with my life: I want to change the world! Thoreau’s quote sparked thoughts of my “castles in the air.” My castles have changed shape and size over the years. Why? because of Psalm 37:4, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” As I have grown closer to my Lord I have learned that Psalm 37:4 is not saying that I should only obey God so I will get what I want, but rather that the more I delight and grow in my knowledge of the person of God, the more I will want what God wants for my life. I want to have built great, majestic castles in my dreams and I want to see them become a reality, but more than anything, I want God to be the master architect of my life. He helps me craft beautiful castles and gives me the ability to build the foundations I need to bridge fantasy and reality.