my life is not my own

Tonight was the Lord’s Supper at my extension church. I love celebrating the Lord’s Supper—and not just because I like the tart taste of Welch’s grape juice.

The Lord’s Supper calls me to break open my heart before Christ. To lay before Him my praise and thankfulness for what He has done in my life and to apologize and repent for sins I have harbored for too long. Truly, I don’t have to—and should not—wait for the Lord’s Supper to open my heart to my Savior, but I always enjoy the service, nonetheless.

So far this semester the Lord has been teaching me that my life is not my own. Every time I sit down in a church or chapel service—even in my personal, room, and dorm devotions—God challenges me to change. He pleads for me not to settle for mediocre Christianity, but to live a fulfilled, satisfied life of a servant.

I don’t want to sound like an angel—change is hard! I feel as though I meet failure at every turn—I am 14 years old in Christ and I have yet to read through my Bible outside of a requirement for a college course. That’s sad! But God has challenged me and, praise the Lord, I have been more consistent this year than any year of my Christian life. Then there’s the struggle of Bible memory—how pitiful that I can memorize an eight-minute speech in a few hours, but I struggle to commit God’s Word to memory.

As I sat in the pew tonight, surrounded by faithful believers, my heart broke in realization that, though I am growing, I have a long way to go. At the beginning of the semester, Evangelist Will Galkin said, “I’m not who I used to be, but I’m not who I want to be. I am what I am by the grace of God.” How true! The more I learn about and grow in my God, the more I realize I have to learn and grow.

Before communion tonight we sang “His Robes for Mine.” This song has been a wonderful encouragement in my life and has brought tears to my life. That my God gave his life, willingly, for me, a horrible sinner, is beyond my comprehension. Christ suffered for me so I could be justified before Christ—yet I struggle to obey Him in simple things and sometimes live in doubt that He will perform as He promises.

I encourage you to take a moment to read the words and pour them into your heart. God has given ALL for me, truly “my life is not my own.”

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His robes for mine: O wonderful exchange!
Clothed in my sin, Christ suffered ‘neath God’s rage.
Draped in His righteousness, I’m justified.
In Christ I live, for in my place He died.

Chorus:

I cling to Christ, and marvel at the cost:
Jesus forsaken, God estranged from God.
Bought by such love, my life is not my own.
My praise—my all—shall be for Christ alone.

His robes for mine: what cause have I for dread?
God’s daunting Law Christ mastered in my stead.
Faultless I stand with righteous works not mine,
Saved by my Lord’s vicarious death and life.

His robes for mine: God’s justice is appeased.
Jesus is crushed, and thus the Father’s pleased.
Christ drank God’s wrath on sin, then cried “‘Tis done!”
Sin’s wage is paid; propitiation won.

His robes for mine: such anguish none can know.
Christ, God’s beloved, condemned as though His foe.
He, as though I, accursed and left alone;
I, as though He, embraced and welcomed home!