My Jesus, Fair

Do you ever despise yourself? I mean, complete & utter disgust with something that you did or didn't do. A regret that seems to haunt your waking & sleeping moments? For me, these moments of despicable agony are often centered around spiritual failure. How could I fail my God again? Have you ever been there?

This weekend I found myself disgusted with the way I had responded to my parents & I punished myself by stepping away from God's Word. Not a brilliant idea, to say the least. I muddled through my weekend, pretending that life was honky-dory. Who was I kidding?

It's in these moments that God sends a soft rebuke that leaves my face stinging as though I'd received a much deserved slap. As He often does, God used His still small voice to remind me who He is & who I am (a princess of the heavenly kingdom) by His grace.

My Jesus, Fair

Chris Anderson & Greg Habegger

My Jesus, fair, was pierced by thorns

By thorns grown from the fall.

Thus He who gave the curse was torn

To end that cuse for all.

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O love divine, O matchless grace--

That God should die for men!

With joyful grief I lift my praise,

Abhoring all my sin, adoring only Him.

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My Jesus, meek, was scorned by men,

By men in blasphemy.

"Father, forgive their senseless sin!"

He prayed, for them, for me.

My Jesus, king, was torn by nails,

By nails of cruel men.

And to His cross, as grace prevailed,

God pinned my wretched sin.

My Jesus, pure, was crushed by God

By God, in judgment just.

The Father grieved, yet turned His rod

On Christ, made sin for us.

My Jesus strong, shall come to reign,

To reign in majesty--

The Lamb arose, and death is slain.

Lord, come in victory!

I don't know about you, but sometimes I need to be reminded that my Savior died a horrifying death, was scorned by those he came to save, & was rejected by His Father so He could reign eternally in victory. But even those glorious thoughts aren't everything. The message of the song is wrapped in the chorus--"O love divine, O matchless grace--That God should die for men!" Who am I that the holy God of heaven--the Creator of everything--chose to leave His throne & die so I could be adopted into is family? Should I not, "With joyful grief . . . lift my praise"?

It's time to wake up! Time to stop living in despair & wallowing in regret. Run to Christ. Fall at His feet, begging for His unfailing forgiveness. Then sing, with tears falling from your face, "With joyful grief I lift my praise, Abhoring all my sin, adoring only Him."

Count Your Blessings

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed

When you are discouraged thinking all is lost

Count your many blessings, name them one by one

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done!

As I opened DAVID: Seeking a Heart Like His this morning, I can tell you I was ready to blubber, not bless. I mean, it's Valentines Day and I'm single. That's a legitimate complaint, right? Wrong. Count Your Many Blessings--those four words just stared at me. Those twenty-one letters sent my mind reeling: how often do I count my blessings?

How often do you stop & count your blessings? STOP right now & take a minute to write down every blessing in your life. I'm timing you. Ready . . . GO!

How far did you get? 10-20? Did you fill the page? Is your mind still racing or did you get everything . . . & I mean everything--your breath, your health, your family, your best friend & your worst enemy . . . everything?

Today's study focused on Saul's irrational hatred for David. I mean, this guy was nuts! He focused nearly all of Israel's forces on capturing & killing David, a shepherd boy from the insignificant town of Bethlehem. Beth Moore used I Samuel 23 to discuss how God uses trials to bring blessings. I know what you're thinking, "why does God use trials? Can't He just bless me?" I've thought the same thing, but Beth's rhetorical question hit the nail on the head, "have you noticed how the colors of God's faithfulness appear brigher when the backdrop of our lives look bleak & gray" (69)? When my life is all sunshine & daisies, I'm less aware of how bright God's faithfulness is. Be honest--most of us rarely notice the moon when the sun is shining, but it's still there, shining brightly.

I Samuel 23 presents two evidences of God's faithfulness to us: a reconfirmation of His direction & His provision of encouragement. Beth remarks that "doubting God & doubting that we understood God are two different things" (69). Two vastly different things. The first, doubting God, demonstrates my lack of trust in God. According to this mindset, God has no idea what He's doing & He may need my guidance. The second, doubting that we understood God, demonstrates my lack of trust in myself. I have proven to myself that I am not trustworthy--I am prone to misunderstanding. The second demonstration of God's faithfulness is friendship. Isn't it encouraging to know that God doesn't want you to face trials on your own? God has specifically placed people in your life to encourage you during a specific trial that you will place. That, friends, is awesome planning!

Even with the knowledge of God's faithfulness "we often want to be called of God, then ushered painlessly into a position of service & honor, miraculousy possessing the character our callings require. God doesn't work that way. Our appointments are not about glamour. They're about glory, God's glory" (71). I wish I could say it in a more personal way, but Beth's words speak with clarity: it's not about me, it's all about Him!

"Painless or painful, enjoyable or distasteful, God always works to prepare us to serve Him, but He rarely prepares us in ways we expect. . . . Make no mistake. Jesus will be worth it. Remember, He thought we were worth it too" (71).

How is God molding you? Have you been counting your blessings?

You've Got Mail

Nothing compares to the joy I experience when, after a long day of teaching, I come home and find a sealed envelope on my chair in the living room. My mind is flooded with a million thoughts in the three seconds it takes me to cross the room. Who sent me a letter? What will the letter contain? Pictures? Money (yeah, right)? I know! My crush will finally admit that he likes me too (hey, I said a million thoughts, I didn't say a million practical thoughts)! While a majority of my mail includes billing statements & a ridiculous number of credit card applications, every once in a while I get a letter (none, so far, from that crush, but I'm still waiting). A "how are you doing?" note that tells me that somebody cares about me.

I suppose it's no surprise that one of my favorite movies is You've Got Mail starring Tom Hanks (Joe Fox) & Meg Ryan (Kathleen Kelly). The movie captures my love for written communication (although I prefer handwritten letters to e-mails) & places a modern twist on my favorite novel, Pride & Prejudice.

Kathleen Kelly writes it beautifully in You've Got Mail, "What will he say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go on line, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you."


Contrary to popular belief, letter are more than just words on a page. Without even opening the envelope, I know that the sender is saying, "Hey, I care about you" & that has an unique effect on me. "The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings" (Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail).

I love to communicate with my friends with handwritten notes, e-mails, & facebook messages. Our correspondence has no greater goal than staying in touch: we share prayer requests & blessings, discuss what God is teaching, vent a little over our frustrations, & share our deepest secrets. The note could be filled with vital information or nothing at all. All that matters is that we are communicating.

I don't know who is reading this today or if you feel the way I do about writing. I know that I'm a little odd & sometimes a little too romantic. Whether you write your biggest crush, your dearest friend, your mom, or your grandmother, I hope you write letters to someone. Remember, "a man that has friends must prove himself friendly" (Proverbs 18:24, my interpretation). Who are you being a friend to today?