secret place

Let's be honest, life is hectic & filled with an incredible amount of noise. Sometimes, even in a crowded, noise-filled room, I feel the need to be alone & experience some peace & quiet. In the past couple of months, the Lord keeps reminding me that I have a secret place only found in Him. A place where I can escape the noise & hectic activities of life & be filled with His peace.

I can't say when the Lord first began to show me that He is my secret place, but I can trace the lesson to two things: The Secret Place by Ron Hamilton & The Diary of Anne Frank by Goodrich & Hackett.

The Diary of Anne Frank immersed me in the world of European Jews during World War II. I first read the play at the encouragement of a friend, & immediately fell in love with the story. In fact, I spent hours with Anne, Peter, & Mr. Frank as I memorized a selection for the college commencement competition. The Lord taught me, through the struggle of the Frank family, that He is my secret place, the place where I can hide from the terrors, trials, & wars of the world. Surrounded by bias & hatred, Anne chose to be optimistic & learned to love her secret place.

The other instrument the Lord used to turn me to His secret place was a song I learned in church choir at Windsor: The Secret Place by Ron Hamilton & Cheryl Reid. The words are so powerful. Each time I sing the song or hear it sung, I cannot help but feel that I am surrounded by the Lord. The song reminds me that no matter how loud & hectic life gets, now matter how weak I feel, no matter what trial I am facing, in Him I can find hope. I close my eyes & find that I am in my secret place.

I've found a secret place

Of comfort & release,

A special place of healing,

A quiet place of peace.

And everyone who dwells there

Finds rest beneath God's wings.

In the shade of His pavilion

New strength He always brings.

- - -

I find hope, I find grace

Far away from the world's embrace.

He gives me rest; He keeps me safe,

I find His strength, I seek His face

In the secret place.

- - -

With every trial He brings,

My Lord will make a way--

To strengthen & protect me,

To help me face each day.

He leads me through the valley

To draw me closer still,

Knowing even in the shadows

I find his perfect will.

masquerade

Have you ever watched Phantom of the Opera? The mask that the phantom wears is truly unique: it only covers the afflicted quarter of his face. I remember the first time that I watched the movie, thinking that maybe the mask hid nothing at all. But then, Christine removes it . . . & the face hidden beneath can only be described as horribly disgusting. No one really believes Christine because they have never seen the phantom unmasked for themselves. In fact, as the entire opera house celebrates the opening of a new performance no one seems to notice the phantom walking among them. Why? It's a masquerade, everyone is hiding their faces from the others.

Once a month my church has special group meetings on a Sunday evening. These meetings allow male leaders to encourage the men & women leaders to encourage the ladies. We ladies have been discussing Titus 2:3-5 "The aged women likewise . . . that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." On July 5, Mrs. O spoke on being chaste, or pure, in all areas of life.

What does pure living have to do with a masquerade? Well, Mrs. O pointed out that being chaste is not just living physically pure, but being pure in every area of life. Before Mrs. O began speaking, each lady received a paper mask with different areas of ministry (Sunday School, K4T, music, prayer warrior) written on the front. She explained that we often "decorate" our life with outward actions like we decorate the outside of a beautiful mask. I walk around in a masquerade, hiding my true purity (or lack thereof) underneath masks of ministry. Mrs. O challenged us not to be satisfied with just looking pure, but living a completely pure life from the inside out. She had us turn over the mask & write down areas that weren't so pure in our lives . . . areas that only family, close friends, & God know. As I wrote on the back of my mask, I realized that, all too often, I'm living in a masquerade.

I could write for some time about the things that I learned in that short challenge, but I think the most important one is to take off the mask & end the masquerade. There are areas of my life that may seem ugly, like the Phantom's deformity, but with the Lord's help my life can become wholly pure.

rapunzel, rapunzel

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair that I might climb the golden stair." Rapunzel is one of my favorite fairytales. No, I don't have golden hair, but I have always cherished my long, curly red hair. I have been teased countless times by friends to give some of my hair to them. One of my professors at college proclaimed that I had his favorite hair on campus & my boss on campus calls me "Amazing Hair." Every time I had to get a haircut or trim growing up I would cry. Not just a trickle of tears, but a bawling flood of tears! So, I suppose it was a shock to both friends & family when I abruptly cut 13" of my "amazing hair" off.

Grandma Gina announced to the family that she had once again been diagnosed with cancer & would begin chemo treatments in June. My grandmother has battled various forms of cancer off & on since her late 20s, but the announcement still scared me.

I had already been considering trimming my hair for the summer. My hair, even in a ponytail, layed on the back of my neck making me very hot as I worked. When Grandma Gina announced that she had cancer, I had Mom measure my hair. If I was going to cut off 6", why not just cut off 12" & donate it to women who have lost their hair because of their battle with cancer? Though my grandmother has never lost a hair on her head in her 40+ years of battling with cancer, I decided that I would donate mine for her.

The Monday after I returned from West Virginia Mom & I went to get my hair cut. Though my hair is a little shorter than I expected, I'm glad that I was able to give my amazing hair to give a courageous woman back some of her pride.

I may not have done much, but I hope I have made an impact & encouraged others to pray for & help those fighting with cancer. After all, even Rapunzel cut her hair.

my best friend's wedding

In the '90s Julia Roberts starred in a movie, My Best Friend's Wedding. The audience was heart-broken as Julia's best friend (a handsome young man) fell in love with & married someone else. My best friend's wedding was no heart-break . . . it was a beautiful union between two amazing people.

For you to fully understand my friendship with Janessa, I'll have to start with a little history.

Janessa first visited Kansas City when we were in fourth grade. Her father was possibly taking a possition at the church, so she & her siblings were visiting the school. When she walked in I pounced on her, asked her to help me with my class project, & determined that she would be my friend. Her family moved to Kansas City that summer & we have been friends, best friends, ever since. We were virtually inseperable for the seven years that her family lived in Kansas City, with one exception: cheerleading. At the end of our junior year of high school, Mr. Van announced that the family would be moving to West Virginia. I was heart-broken, kinda like Julia Roberts' character, but for a different reason (after all, I wasn't hoping to marry my best friend). Due to pre-arranged plans, Janessa & her brother, Peter, stayed with my family the last two weeks of the summer before moving. Though we did next to nothing, those are the days that stick out most in my mind.

I never thought that the next time I visited her home it would be for my best friend's wedding.

Mom, Crys, & I left for West Virginia early Wednesday morning for an exciting weekend fully focused on my best friend's wedding. Wednesday night I spent the night with Janessa & some of her friends from West Virginia. We had fun watching movies, snacking, & playing games. My favorite part of the evening was not when there was lots of noise & people, but when we went to bed. Janessa & I stayed in a room together. Though I was tired from a long day (12 hours) of driving, nothing would have replaced being able to just talk with my best friend. Nothing in the world beats being able to talk with someone face-to-face.

Thursday Janessa & I set out on a "short" walk to the "near-by" convienience store for some slushies. The walk was a little further than JV thought, so when some of the girls drove by we did not hesitate to catch a ride to get our slushies & then headed to the mall to meet Aron & the guys. Mom & Crys met me at the mall & we hung out until it was time to head to the park for dress rehersal. Pastor Wiebe kept rehersal short & sweet so we could get to the delicious meal that Aron's parents prepared. As the party dissolved, some of the girls at rehersal begged to go out. The guys bummed out (claim of no money), so the girls went to an arcade. Once again it was great to spend time with Janessa & some of her friends, but we were all focused on one thing: my best friend's wedding.

Friday was a day with nothing scheduled . . . at first. Late Thursday night, Janessa, Aron, & Dan Moore, the photographer, decided to take the bride & groom pictures Friday afternoon instead of Saturday morning. Being both the maid-of-honor & Janessa's best friend, I volunteered to tag along & help wherever needed. So, Mom & I arrived at the Van's for breakfest. While Mom & Mrs. Van ran errands (like picking up the wedding gown) I did JV's hair & helped her primp for pictures. Before long the moms, the dress, the photographer, the sister, & the fiance' were all at the house getting ready for pictures. Before the beautiful bride came out into the livingroom, I called Aron into the room so he could see his bride in her wedding dress for the first time. I will never forget the look on his face . . . nor could I wait to get out of that room so they could have a minute alone. Before long we were driving around Huntington watching the photographer capture beautiful pictures of the bride & groom. No matter what was going on around them, their soul focus was each other. It was beautiful. I don't think it really sank in until that afternoon that the next day was my best friend's wedding.

After all the fun of driving from spot to spot, helping the bride in & out of the car, carrying the train & bouquet, & giving up my flip-flops so the bride could walk through the mud, Mom, Crys, & I went to the mall & Applebee's to enjoy a little time alone. Later that evening, Janessa came over & I did her nails, enjoying one last talk together as single friends. After she left, Mom, Crys, & I walked over to the church & helped the Van's set up the reception hall for the next afternoon. I went to bed at 1 a.m. excited about the next day: my best friend's wedding.

I woke up bright & early on Saturday excited about everything. Mom helped me finish my hair before we all headed over to the church to meet the rest of the bridal party as they primped & prepared for pictures. Though I had already seen Janessa in her wedding dress, helping her get ready for the wedding took my breath away . . . & not just mine, Aron's too. Though they had spent the previous day together in wedding garb, when Aron saw Janessa on Saturday morning, his eyes sparkled. The Lord truly blessed my best friend!

The ceremony was short & sweet with only one major hitch: the music being played at the wrong time (Viva la Vida during the sand ceremony). It was simply beautiful. I did not need Pastor Wiebe's encouragement to keep my eyes only on the bride; seeing her as a bride captivated all of my attention. The rest of the day seemed to fly by. The best part of the day, for me, wasn't part of the ceremony or being with everyone at the reception, but for 5 minutes at the end of the reception I was able to talk with Janessa alone.

May 30, 2009 was a wonderful beginning to, what I believe, a wonderful life. To you, it may not have been anything special, but for me, it was my best friend's wedding.

i saw Jesus in you

Another semester of college has ended. Though I am glad to be done with classes, home, & looking forward to the fun & excitement of summer, I know I will greatly miss 3 girls that the Lord has brought into my life. My life has radically changed since meeting them, because in everything they did, I saw Christ.

I entered my sophomore year of college with both excitement & reservations--just as you would do if you knew you were going to spend the next 9 months with three other girls. I didn't know what to expect. I had prayed all summer that the Lord would put me into the room that I needed most; God answered my prayer. What an awesome room I was placed in! Definitely the best room on Maranatha's campus (I dare someone to dispute that). Christ was preeminent in everything. I was put in a room where I can say, to each of my roommates, "I saw Jesus in you."

Kristin, my PC, is a junior nursing student. Kris is dedicated in every area of her life: grades, friends, prayer, & devotions. No matter how busy Kris seemed to be (as a nursing student, she was always busy) she would take the time to laugh, cry, pray, or just talk. I don't know how she did it. My only hope is that someday I can be like her. Just when my day looked the darkest, just when I needed encouragement the most, Kris would tell me either verbally or through a note that she was praying for me. Kristin's life challenged me. How selfish had I become over the year! I was constantly thinking only of myself & Kris gave the little time she had to listen, love, & pray for me! Kris, I saw Jesus in you!

Kris had quite a task before her--Elle, Mandy, & I aren't exactly the quiet, reserved type like Kris. But, she handled us quite well. Kristin's focus for our room was prayer. She constantly challenged me, through word & deed, to talk to God about EVERYTHING. When Elle joined us in January, we began a prayer chain; every request that we saw the Lord answer was put on a construction paper ring & hung outside our door for all of our dormmates to see. After white glove, we all took a picture with the ring that nearly covered our door posts. God is so good!

I remember the first time Mandy & her mom walked into Weeks 109--boy she had alot of stuff! It didn't take long for Mandy & I to realize that we were going to get along just fine. Throughout the semester we would talk & would not be suprised when the other would say, "that's how I feel too!" Mandy was definitely a blessing . . . just like Kristin. Mandy & Kristin prayed for me in ways I am sure I will never completely understand. I am so lucky to have had such great friends as roommates. Whenever I needed help, Mandy was there . . . even when I volunteered her & her truck to help collect clothing for a ministry garage sale. She simply smiled & told me that is what friends are for. Fun was always right around the corner with Mandy . . . even when she would be dutifully studying for her classes. Though I am "deaf" ("If you need me, leave me a note") I am thankful for the nights that she talked loud enough to keep me awake & listen to her talk about the Lord & her life. Whether we were talking in the room, studying, going on a random walk, or talking to Dave, Mandy was always the friend I needed & could read my every emotion. There is no doubt, Mandy, that I saw Jesus in you.

The spring semester brough a great surprise . . . Elle. Elle's outspoken passion for Christ ignited a fire in our room. I was constantly humbled by Elle's enthusiasm in serving Christ. Her life's focus is to be in the center of God's will (which will eventually lead her to Kenya) & her every action shows that God's will is neither boring nor terrifying: it's simply wonderful. Though Elle & I may have disagreed in a few areas (two, no three, opinionated people in one room will bring little conflicts at times) we never held grudges & would soon find ourselves laughing or pulling a prank on someone. Always armed with her mace, Elle & I had some great walks ("we're rwalking, that's what they do in rwanda") & even more awesome talks. One of the first weekends Elle & I were alone in the room & we talked for 2 hours about our dreams. There is no doubt that the Lord had a purpose for bringing Elle into my life last semester.

There is so much more I could say about these 3 wonderful girls. So many talks, prayer requests, praises, room parties, & quotes, but those things are not as important as the spiritual impact they all had on my life this year. The fun times have ended for now, but I'm sure we will add to them in the future. God was so good to give me such wonderful roommates; I truly was not worthy of such a wonderful gift. Though I will never again share a room with these wonderful girls, there is no doubt that they have been added to a list of people that have been brought into my life that I proudly say (& give them a BIG hug), "I saw Jesus in you."

half time

Various different sports have been used to describe the Christian life. The most common example, of course, is Paul's use of a race. On Sunday morning, I heard a sports analogy that I had never thought of before: the Christian life has a . . . half-time?

Pastor (excuse me) Evangelist Morris Gleiser was able to challenge me from the Word of God for the second time this semester when he came to lead revival services at my extension church. It was a great encouragement for Jarid, Crys, & I to catch up with him & his wife. We were not only able to talk to them about what they are doing for the Lord, but also about how the Lord is leading in our own lives.

The Sunday School service was a challege for the church to be faithful in seeking the Lord & to come to the revival services thirsty & ready to drink in God's Word. Where does half-time fit in? Pastor Gleiser mentioned that the half-time of a game is a time where the team is encouraged to be diligent & continue in good work. Half-time is meant to empower the team. To excite them. For me half-time was not a break, but the time when I took the court, but even for cheerleaders like me, half-time was refreshing, encouraging, & empowering. The church, he reflected, is a team. A body of believers working together to accomplish the goal of Christ. Revival (meaning new awakening) is the Christian's half-time. A time to be spiritually refreshed & encouraged. A time for clearified direction. A time to reignite passion.

I was shocked. Revival is half-time. It is everything that Pastor Gleiser said: refreshing, encouraging, empowering, & directive. It's funny how something as silly as a sports illustration can be an encouragement, but God is amazing like that.

So, are you praying for half-time?

anamosa, iowa

"A coincidence is a miracle where God chooses to remain anonymous."

God works in miraculous ways. I never thought that I would learn something about the Lord by having car trouble & being stuck in a hotel in Anamosa, Iowa, but I did.

The last week of school was filled with the excitement and anticipation of going home for spring break at the end of the week. We, that is Mike Collison, Lacey Steffen, Jarid, Crystal, and I, were no exception. We could not wait to get home!

After crossing into Iowa around 5:30, Lacey and I were ready for a stop. While we were walking around in the gas station, Mike checked his tires and we were off again. It was then that we noticed a strange sound coming and Lacey noticed a little bit of smoke coming out of the right side of the hood. Now, Mike is notorious for having car problems on trips . . . we soon realized that this trip would be no exception. We pulled off the interstate in Anamosa, Iowa, possibly the last stop for miles. Mike again pulled into a gas station to check the car. The alternator belt was missing. What had cued Mike there was a problem? The funny noise and the fact that he had lost power-steering (which is a funny thing to watch). We drove up to Wal-Mart (a supposed Supercenter) and found that they did not have any belts. We were sent to another store that "should" have the part we needed. No luck. The employees there sent us to an autoparts store . . . which was closed. We were about to give up when we saw a police officer walking out of a family restaurant. Mike, rather humourously, parked and caught the officer before he drove off. The officer took us to a towing and mechanics shop in town.

When Mike pulled in at Red's we all got out and huddled around the hood as the mechanic and police officer talked. The mechanic pulled the melted, streached out alternator belt out of the car. Several times the mechanic went back to the shop checking for a belt he could put on the car. No such luck . . . AND every auto dealer in town was closed. Our best choice was to stay in Anamosa for the night and continue to Missouri and Kansas in the morning. Before we officially gave up, Lacey called AAA. We all discussed our options (we all are, after all, college students) and decided the best bet was to stay in Anamosa. The mechanic was generous enough to drive us to the Super8 where we booked two rooms for the night.

It was disappointing to look at the clock and realize that it was only 6 in the evening and we were stuck 4 hours from home for the night, but we made the most of our night. We walked to the family restaurant where we found the officer and had a great pizza and just talked for about an hour and a half. It's funny, I have known Mike for years and have gone to college with Lacey for two years and I was finally able just to talk to them. After dinner, we went to our rooms and just hung out.

The boys left at 8:15 on Saturday morning to walk to the mechanics shop to be there when the car got fixed and will come back and get us girls. The guys got back to the hotel at 9 and informed us that the car would not be ready until at least 11:30. Lacey and I decided to go on a walk to Wal-Mart. We passed the time by just talking and hanging out outside of the hotel room. At 11, we checke out of the hotel and started walking to the mechanics shop--it was not a short walk. The car was still not ready, so we left our stuff in the shop and walked around downtown Anamosa for an hour--almost everything was "Closed for Good". We all laughted at that. The car was ready at 12:30 and after a much needed food stop at Hardy's, we were back on the road.

The next 4.5 hours were mostly devoted to sleep, which I must say can be pretty uncomfortable when you are in the middle. We all cheered (well, maybe Mike didn't ) as we crossed the Iowa/Missouri border. God is good. Jarid, Crys, and I stepped in the house at 6:15. For all of the seeming problems, God showed that He was in control and we were able to have alot of fun between WI and MO.

Did we want to spend the night in Anamosa, Iowa? Of course not, but we were able to see how the Lord worked in the situation:

1. Mike heard a noise and realized he lost power-steering and did not ignore the problems
2. There was an exit for Anamosa almost immediately after Mike realized there was a problem
3. Mike and Jarid were able to realize the problem with the car
4. We went to Wal-Mart where we had an employee point us to a store where an employee pointed us to a store which was closed but driving by we saw an officer
5. The officer took the time to help us and direct us to someone who could help
6. A mechanic who was on his way home stayed to help us
7. The mechanic drove us to Super8 where we were able to book two rooms
8. We all had enough money to split dinner and the rooms
9. We had an adventure together :)

It's funny how the unexpected things in life draw our attention to God. We could have been out on the interstate and wrecked or been stuck in the middle of nowhere, but God led us to Anamosa and we had a great adventure.