drip, drip, drop

I am not one to openly cry, but yesterday, the tears came often. Just after noon yesterday Dad informed me that Grandpa Frank had passed away.

Christmas is going to be different this year. Amidst the lazy falling snowflakes tears will fall each time we remember Grandpa. Grandpa Frank always came over for Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. He drank coffee and slipped slices of ham in to Greyson's dish, always claiming that dogs should get to celebrate Christmas too. He called me Grandma--I never really knew why, but I liked it because it made me feel special. He would never leave until he got a kiss from each of us grandkids. He is one of the very few people I would let kiss me, let alone me kiss them. Tears will fall when I become selfish at all the things he is going to miss: me graduating from college, bringing home a boy, getting married, having kids. Since I left for college Grandpa kept asking where my boyfriend was. He thought it odd that I was waiting on God's timing, but he would relish in the fact that he was the "only" boy getting a kiss from me.

I'm not going to lie or try to sugar-coat the facts, as far as we know, Grandpa Frank was not saved. I think that is what hurts the most. Knowing that for the past 15+ years my family has been a faithful witness to him and he rejected the free gift of eternal life. He was an amazing man. I have never seen someone display such undying love. He cared about each of us and wanted us to succeed in life. He never quite undersood why Crystal, Jarid, & I chose to attend a Christian college, but he could see our dedication to serve the Lord.

But, God works in ALL circumstances. My uncle and cousin seem to be open to the Gospel right now. The death of my grandpa affected them greatly--they are thinking more than ever before about spiritual things. Again I am reminded of my life verse, "And we know that ALL things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." There is nothing I can do for my grandpa now, but God has given my family an amazing opportunity to be a witness to my Dad's family.

Will I cry at the funeral? Yes, if not outwardly, my heart will be crying. But my tears will only last during this life. I have hope and confidence in eternal salvation. I know exactly where I am going when I die. My purpose now is to show Christ's love to my family so I can see them for all eternity.