the wardrobe

In C. S. Lewis' epic tales, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe, Lucy Pevensie falls into a magical world just by opening a door to an old, dusty wardrobe. Yesterday, after talking with friends, I began to think about all the doors that the Lord has opened for me.

Friendships are a special gift. I cannot imagine my life without the friends that surround me, both at college & at home. Each friendship began with God opening a door where the slightest sliver of light shone through. Like Lucy I had to choose, despite the unseen costs & rewards, to engage myself in friendly conversation & open my heart to my friends. That step can be so hard! I am so thankful for the doors of friendship that the Lord directed me toward. Because of my friends I truly believe that I have been changed for good.

There are other doors: doors that lead to opportunities in ministry, academics, & career. These doors bring with them more apprehension than the doors of friendship . . . at least for me. I love meeting new people & having fun. I have been embarrassed enough in my life that I no longer care what people think about me as long as I am being myself & a good representation of Christ. That I snort & honk when I laugh does not bother me as it used to, but when Christ cracks open a door that leads to an opportunity in ministry, academics, or career, I get a little scared. I don't want to mess up something so important in my life. I am scared of the outcome, not so much in ministry, but in academics & career opportunities. It is these major areas, where I must completely trust Christ for the outcome, that I struggle the most to let go.

It is often hard to step out on faith & follow Christ; it is harder when the outcome of this step of faith cannot be seen. So many of the choices I have been challenged to make force me to trust Christ in the outcome. I love & get quite excited about change, yet it still scares me. What if I do the wrong thing? What if I make a mistake that is irreversable? This summer the Lord has taught me that I when I rely on Him there is "no cause for worry or for fear".

The Lord has so many doors cracked open: doors that lead to some great opportunities. I am excited & scared to open them & step inside leaning on Christ. Pray with me, that I would choose the best door & enter a wonderful world where I continue to grow to be more like Christ.