change

Raise your hand if you don't like change. . . . Ok, since I can't physically see you, I'm going to assume that everyone dislikes change a little. You may be one who revolts against any suggestion of change or you may be one that embraces change with open arms (& a slightly quivering heart). Me? I fall somewhere in between. Whenever change is upon me, I find myself both nervous & excited. Change means life is going to be different from here on out--I will never be able to return to "this" point in time. Change means a new direction--whether slight or drastic. But most importantly, change means allowing God to lead me away from my comfort zone & toward the glorious fulfillment of His will.

That sounds exciting, right?

Right, except when I let my selfish plans & desires get in the way. Except when I decide to hold on to everything in my life with white-knuckled clasped fists.

This summer is the beginning of a lot of change for me. While I'm excited about the opportunities that I know the Lord will bring my way in the future, I'm also terrified that life may not turn out like I've dreamt for so long.  

For the first time in four years I will not be leaving home in the fall for college. I won't share a room with 3-4 other girls in a dorm inhabited by 50-60 other Christian girls. I won't see the professors or walk the campus I've fallen in love with. I don't get to take any more speech classes & for the first time in four years, I will not be helping in a college production.

But, as sad as I am about leaving college & beginning the next chapter in my life, I'm excited about the new opportunities that lie ahead. I get to teach--not just practice teaching on other education majors. I get to minister at my home church in new ways. I get to keep in touch with friends from across the country.

Change hurts sometimes--I'm learning that this summer, too. Most of my close friends now live 500+ miles away. My older brother, his wife, & my nephew move 1300 miles away. I'm not doing what I wanted to do this summer. But you know what? God never promised that walking in His will was going to be easy. In fact, He promised that those who truly followed Him would suffer persecution. PERSECUTION. I'm pretty sure that throwing a pity-party because friends & family aren't close & that I'm not working the job I had in mind count as persecution.

So, what do I think about change? I think change is a great opportunity to learn more about myself as I conform to the image of Christ. Change is seeing that God's thoughts are more wonderful than mine & that His plans are more amazing than anything I could ever imagine.

I may not completely like change, but I know that God uses change to give me His best.