Why?

Has anyone ever asked you why you do what you do? What was your response—a simple response or a ten-point message explaining each intricate thought behind the decision?
When I left home for college five years ago, I found that when others asked me, “why?” all I could do was repeat the question to myself: Why do I do what I do?

If you asked my high school classmates to describe me you would probably hear adjectives like hoity-toity, stuck-up, goodie-two-shoes, & teacher’s pet. Not only was I known for following the rules, I also had the audacity to encourage my classmates to follow them as well. I was one of those irritating students who loved school. I mean LOVED. I played school in the summer & counted down to the first day of school. Weird. People got the impression that I did right because I wanted to stay out of trouble. While avoiding trouble may have been part of my logic, it wasn’t my main motivation. I did right because, well, it was the right thing to do. Crazy, I know.

As I entered college, my mentality for obeying rules remained the same. Was my logic wrong? Well, no, but it wasn’t right either.

Between my sophomore & junior years in college I began to ask myself the question people had been asking me for years, “why do I do what I do?” I was disturbed to find that I didn’t have an answer. I wasn’t a rebel who flagrantly broke rules, but I would make allowances to bend rules when I felt they were too restrictive. I was obeying the rules, but I sure wasn’t being a Christ-like example to others.

The spring of my junior year was a spiritual low. God wanted to change me but I was content to remain spiritually stagnant. On a whim, I applied to be a camp counselor, not really believing God would send me to camp. But He did & I came face-to-face with my mediocrity. My counselor training packed required me to share my reasoning for tough scenarios--principles for deciding if something is right or wrong & principles to give to someone who wants to grow spiritually--& verses defending God’s guidelines for dating, music, friends, authority, & a plethora of other counseling topics. For the first time in my life I had to answer “Why?” with more than just “because.”

I'm not perfect--God is definitely still working on me--but God is helping me answer my own questions. I don't have all of the answers & sometimes what I do may make your head turn, but I promise, God is helping me answer "why do I do what I do" with more than just "because."